The Self-Publishing Review

Happy New Year!

2011-01-06T10:00:00.003Z

Here we are in 2011 and in a spirit of optimism, I am making a few changes to The Self-Publishing Review.

Regular visitors will have noticed that I've not been posting here much lately. There were two reasons for that: I've been incredibly busy with paid-for writing, which has to take precedence over my blogging activities; and I've been getting so many ugly anonymous comments and emails from this site that I needed to rethink my approach.

The good news is that I'm on the home stretch of the book I'm writing; and I've now managed to collect the IP addresses of all of the people who were being less than polite, and I have now reported them to their ISPs. I find joy in such things.

So that I can deal more easily with any such sad obsessives in the future, I'm going to move this blog from Blogger to Wordpress. Comments here are now closed, but you can still take part in the discussions over at my new home.

I hope to see you there. Thank you, readers and especially writers, for your support over the last year. May 2011 be a splendid and productive year for us all.

Ordeal, by T K Varenko

2010-11-11T10:00:00.000Z

It is a verse-ornated story
About love, betrayal, wrath
Royal vampires' bliss and glory
Bringing them straight to their death.

Luella, fierce, strong vampire,
Falls for a pretty human catch
Sent on her fiancé’s desire
To celebrate they are engaged.

This unexpected turnabout
Is doomed to come to a dead end:
Her human sweetheart's dead to shroud:
Her fiancé’s avenged for that.

And she is punished for blood treason,
Banished into a mortal child,
Whose human body is a prison
For all her powers to bind.

Her memories obliterated,
She is to find her love at last
Who proves to be too much related
To the misfortunes from her past.

Ordeal is a vampire story written completely in verse, which follows a simple A – B – A – B four line form. It's a relatively easy form to write if you have a good awareness of rhythm and rhyme; sadly the author of this book appears to have neither.

His lines don't scan, his rhymes often don't actually rhyme; he uses words which almost sound good but don't mean what he seems to think they mean; and several of his verses make no sense at all.

He has forgotten to put his own name on the front cover of his own book; the cover image he has chosen is extremely unappealing, and brings to mind the inside of a mouldy eyeball, complete with blood vessels; the back cover copy is almost illegible as the font used is over-fancy and out of focus; and the book has no copyright page.

The writing is quite astonishingly bad: this verse reads as though it has been dragged backwards and forwards through Babel Fish a few times. I read five and a half pages out of two hundred and twelve despite ignoring several of the author's less significant lapses, and I strongly urge this writer to put in a lot more work on his craft before he even considers publishing anything else.

Take It Easy: Untangling the Internet: an easy guide to start using the Internet by Ohad Kravchick

2010-11-04T10:00:00.000Z

If you ever thought it's too late for you to learn how to use the Internet THINK AGAIN!

In "Take It Easy: Untangling The Internet," author Ohad Kravchick guides you through an easy, step-by-step process to using the Internet, by providing:

> An introduction to the Internet and the benefits of using it.
> A detailed walk-through with illustrations for using your computer and connecting to the Internet.
> Real-life Internet scenarios (websites), containing simple and more advanced examples, complete with easy to follow illustrations.
> Directions showing how to find the information you need.
> A list of useful Internet locations for your knowledge, finance, chores, hobbies, and entertainment.

A MUST GUIDE FOR ALL INTERNET NEWCOMERS!

Ohad Kravchick has been a professional computer instructor for more than 8 years; he is focused on ease of learning. He earned his master's degree in Computer Science from Fordham University. He lives with his wife in New York City.

For more information about this booklet and its publication, log in to: www.takeiteasyseries.com
To order more copies call 1-877-377-3311 (toll free)

I use the internet a lot: I use it for research, for networking, and for blogging. I'm not, however, terribly computer-literate: I depend on my lovely friend Clever Andy to rescue me from technical tangles and I'm frequently grateful to him for all his help. Consequently, I was looking forward to reading this slim book in the hope that I might improve my knowledge of all things internet. Sadly, I was disappointed.

This is the single most confusing instruction manual I have ever encountered, and I include in that list the Italian instructions for a fridge which accompanied the DVD player I bought recently.

I am sure that Mr Kravchick is a lovely man; he's a professional computer instructor and I bet when he talks to people in his classes he helps them enormously. But he has no aptitude for writing. His sentences range from confusing to unintelligible, and his errors in grammar mean that he often make statements which are completely wrong. I'm very sorry to have to be so damning. But this is a terribly badly written book and I can only see it confusing anyone desperate enough to turn to it for help. I read just three of its sixty-three pages, despite my best attempts to be generous.

Lost in Juarez, by Douglas Lindsay

2010-10-28T10:00:00.000+01:00

From the creator of the cult Barney Thomson crime series, comes a darker, more sinister novel.

The government is watching.

4 million names on the DNA database and counting; CCTV cameras on every street corner; telephone records available to any agency which requests them; restrictions on movements around Westminster; ID cards and the most all encompassing surveillance operations ever conducted. All in the name of freedom.

When his latest book is shelved due to government interference, Lake Weston—international bestselling, Bob Dylan-addicted children's author—decides that it is time to stand up for personal rights. He writes and anonymously publishes a scathing polemic, the Animal Farm of its day, about a government which seeks to restrict civil liberties in the name of freedom. The book quickly achieves notoriety. The media is animatedly curious about the author; the government, however, already knows.

As the security services close in, Weston find his name dragged through the gutter press. Suddenly he must run for his life, not knowing who he can trust and with nothing in his pocket except a few pounds and an iPod loaded with 1256 Bob Dylan tracks.

About the books of Douglas Lindsay:

"Gleefully macabre... hugely enjoyable black burlesque." The Scotsman

"Pitch black comedy spun from the finest writing. Fantastic plot, unforgettable scenes and plenty of twisted belly laughs." New Woman

"Lindsay's burlesque thrills offer no sex, no drugs, no desperation to be cool. Just straightforward adult story: fantastic plot, classic timing and gleeful delight in the grotesque." What's On

"Extremely well-written, highly amusing and completely unpredictable in its outrageous plot twists and turns." The List

I really wanted to enjoy Lost in Juarez: it has a good jacket design, and the book feels balanced in my hands thanks to its professional production values (although I would have preferred a matt laminate on the cover—those glossy finishes always feel a bit too low-end to me). Despite the rather clumsy back cover copy the quotes which accompanied it really got my hopes up, and its premise appealed to me: so I started work on this book with some enthusiasm.

I was very disappointed.

The first hurdle I had to overcome was the book’s poor internal layout. The paragraphs are indented by only a single space, making reading difficult and tiring; and the font used throughout the book is just a trifle small. The problem with the font size is just a personal preference (amazingly, I seem to be getting older and find such close type wearing to read for long), so I didn’t include it in my tally of problems, but such typesetting issues have to be considered by self-publishers: they directly affect the readability of the book, and are likely to make potential readers turn away from this book without really knowing why they’re doing so. If you want to sell as many copies as you can it’s important to put as few barriers between the reader and the text as possible, and by making it even a tiny bit difficult to read the text, you’re shooting your book in its metaphorical foot.

Sadly, though, I felt that this book had more troubling issues than the size of its typeface. The author's style is staccato and repetitious: he frequently uses sentence fragments and seems to be aiming for a hard-edged tone which at times morphs into pastiche. There were several confusing passages; a few lines which made no sense at all; a scattering of odd punctuation choices including an ellipsis of magnificent proportions; and a post-coital scene which was so full of adolescent self-importance that I found myself cringing as I read it.

I stopped reading after that sex scene, so read just sixteen pages out of two hundred and twelve. It's a shame, as further on in the book the writer gets into his stride more, and the text does improve: but that’s too late if he wants to grab browsing readers who will usually begin at the book’s first page.

I’ve skim-read this book to the end and am convinced that with a better editor this book could have been significantly improved, and would probably have earned a recommendation from me. In its current state, however, I found it a clumsy and uncomfortable read on several levels. Nevertheless, there is something about it that I liked and I hope to see more from Mr Lindsay in the future.

I'm Still Here!

2010-09-25T07:37:00.002+01:00

Apologies for my silence over the last month or so: I'm just a little bit busy with other projects but I will be back here in the near future, reviewing the stack of books I have by my side. There are a couple of treasures in that stack, I'm pleased to say. I'm still happy to receive submissions for review, and am blogging pretty much as usual on How Publishing Really Works.

The Faith Of A Child: Stefan G Lanfer

2010-08-26T10:00:00.000+01:00

Preparing for fatherhood? Freaked out? Help is here.

Playwright Stefan Lanfer has penned a vital new book on the struggles of dads-to-be.

When a woman prepares for motherhood, other women guide her on her way. Not so a dad-to-be, who gets pats on the back, corny jokes, or vague assurances he'll do fine. Until now, his best hope was by-moms-for-moms baby books--a gap filled by Stefan Lanfer’s The Faith of a Child and Other Stories of Becoming and Being a Dad, in which the author chronicles his own journey to, and into fatherhood, lending a comforting and humorous peek into the vagaries and joys of being a dad.

According to Lanfer, "When my wife was pregnant, I was STRESSED out, and the guys around me were no help--until, just in time, I hosted a group of dads at our home. I fed them dinner, and they fed me their stories." As he listened, says Lanfer, "I got inside the head space of a dad, and, finally, I felt ready."

To pay forward this gift of stories, Lanfer shares his own in The Faith of a Child. To dads-to-be, Lanfer says, "If you want tips, tactics, and advice for childbirth and parenting, you've got dozens of choices. But, if you want real stories that actually let you picture fatherhood, The Faith of a Child is for you.

The Faith Of A Child is composed of a series of vignettes from Lanfer's life with his wife and, eventually, two small children. He writes in blank verse, which I didn't find particularly successful: his writing is neither tight enough nor lyrical enough to shine in this form (to see blank verse working well, read Sharp Teeth by Toby Barlow, a book I adore). And while he presents this as a book of stories to prepare men for fatherhood I'm not convinced that fathers will find the stories collected here at all useful: most are without any real resolution or message, and far too personal to Lanfer to inspire or instruct anyone else.

It's a shame, as there are occasional glimpses of beauty: for example, the title story is touching and rather lovely. But the few gems there are are muddied by Lanfer's rather unfocused style, and they're hidden among a lot of other stories which only invoked a reaction of "so what?" from me, I'm afraid.

A reasonable effort, then, let down by a lack of clarity and focus. While I think it's wonderful that the author finds his family life so compelling, he really needs to look at his stories with a harsher, more critical eye in order to recognise which are worth working on and which should be kept as a private, more personal record. I read thirty-two pages out of one hundred and fifty-five.

Where Spirits Live: Omri Navot

2010-08-19T10:00:00.000+01:00

When a new boy moves into the neighbourhood, everyone thinks he's as strange as can be. But not Angela. She finds herself drawn to this mysterious boy, and with his help discovers that there's more to her world than she ever imagined. Together, they journey to mystical realms where they learn secrets about themselves and each other. A touching book about youth, spirit, and friendship, Where Spirits Live is bound to enchant you with its mystery and magic.

I did try to find a cover image to use here, but without any luck: perhaps the author could add one to his own blog. Just a thought.

The simplistic tone of this book and its young main character made me wonder at first if it was intended for a younger audience: but its focus on spirituality makes that unlikely and so I'm still not quite sure where this book would be shelved and what its target market is.

The writing is mostly competent although I noticed a couple of peculiar paragraphs which had little to do with the text which surrounded them, and which would have been much better cut; there were a few sentences which were so poorly constructed that although I could work out what I think the author intended to say, the actual meaning of his words was nonsensical; and a pivotal scene in which the main character's parents have the first of many fights comes as a complete surprise as until that point they've been portrayed as happy and settled.

Despite these quibbles the pages turned at a decent pace and I suspect that a good editor could turn this text into something much cleaner and sharper and ultimately more rewarding. My main concern for this book, though, focuses on bigger things. Its plot feels far too familiar; I found nothing new or exciting here, and feel no compulsion to read on; I am not convinced by either of the two main characters (the boy seems more than a little creepy); and I'm particularly uncomfortable with the boy’s suggestion that if the girl ignores her parents fighting it will all just go away.

A valiant effort, then, and a book not entirely without merit: but it is too deeply flawed for me to recommend it, I'm afraid, even though I read forty-one pages out of one hundred and fifty-one.

The Turning: Paul J Newell

2010-08-12T10:00:00.000+01:00

The world is Turning. He can sense it. Now he has to stop it.

People are disappearing.

When Lleyton Quinn is arrested in connection with a missing woman, he insists he knows nothing about it. He's wrong. Soon he comes to realise that he is intimately entwined in the whole mystery. And when the female detective who arrested him pleads for his help, he is dragged to the centre of a phenomenon that could change everything. This is more than just missing people. The very fabric of society is being slowly unstitched by an unknown seamstress, and Lleyton has been chosen to pick up the threads. Before it's too late. Before he disappears too...

This book is an intriguing blend of crime-thriller and science-fiction. Comic, dark and surreal in places, the story is based in the near future, in a world not too dissimilar from our own. Rich in thought-provoking concepts, this novel touches on all aspects of humanity, culminating in an evocative new theory about the nature of our world. This is fiction... that promises to teach you something.

The Turning is the sort of book that would might well accrue a stack of personalised rejections and offers to consider the writer's next book when sent out on submission to mainstream publishers and agents. It is so very nearly excellent: but because of the author's inexperience in both writing and editing it doesn't quite reach the mark.

I can sympathise with Mr. Newell, because he makes the same sorts of mistakes that I make in my first drafts: we both over-write, we both use cliché, and we both like to hammer our points home and then some. The difference is that I then try to edit all those mistakes out, whereas Mr Newell seems content to leave them standing.

Overall, then, an impressive attempt which is let down by a lack of skilled editing. It's a shame, as beneath all the extraneous stuff Newell's writing is bright and pacey and engaging, with a light humour which reminds me a little of Harlan Coben's Myron Bolitar novels. Newell shows real talent and potential, and if he pays much more careful attention to his editing skills in future projects he might well go far. I read sixty-six pages out of two hundred forty-two to find my fifteen mistakes: however, I will almost certainly read this book right to the end and so I recommend it, despite its faults.

Life Skills 101: A Guide To Understanding The Seasons In Your Life: Lori J Parker

2010-08-05T10:00:00.000+01:00

As the magnitude of trials continue to escalate in the world today, Christians need to understand the seasons of preparation that God has for each of them. In Life Skills 101, Lori Parker identifies why we experience various trials. She offers practical ways to identify and overcome these trials so we will be ready for the Lord's return.

Lori Parker, is an anointed author, conference speaker, and founder of One Choice Ministries. God has given her gifts of compassion, joy, and boldness. She has a passionate desire to see people develop an intimate relationship with the Lord. Lori preaches Biblical truths that stir the Body of Christ into action.

"I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see."~Revelation 3:18

Life Skills 101 gets off to a poor start. Its back cover copy discusses the trials we will all face in life, and informs us that the book has a strongly Christian perspective: then on the first page of its introduction it tells us that it's actually about our relationships with money and with god.

It implies that everyone reading the book will have little money and an irresponsible attitude to the little they have; that everyone who appears to be doing well is really hiding a mountain of debt and misery; and that the reason so many people overspend is that they are too proud, and feel they deserve better than they have. The author seems to resent college graduates, especially those who go on to postgraduate education; and she states that Christians should be exempt from rules which apply to non-Christians, as they can depend on god's guidance. It would have been useful if god had given the author a little guidance on the rules of punctuation and grammar, but perhaps he shares my view that writers should learn how to do these things for themselves.

This book gave me a very interesting glimpse into another world—but that doesn't mean I think it's any good. The author attributes all sorts of things to god's grace but doesn’t discuss why this might be so; she shows no understanding of social or psychological failings, she implies that we have no need to take personal responsibility for our mistakes or problems, and makes no allowance for the fact that sometimes terrible things happen to people which they simply cannot overcome even if they believe and trust in god. And that's where this book fails.

If the author had attempted to encompass more shades of grey—to recognise that not everyone believes in god, for example, and that often, hard work can be far more practical and effective than prayer and contemplation—this book would have been much better. As it is, it's a judgemental, disappointing and patronising text which encourages us all to live our lives responsible only to god, and to make no efforts to resolve our own problems or improve our lives other than by praying for god’s guidance: and that means it's only going to be taken seriously by people who already agree with the stance it takes; and that people like me, who disagree very strongly with most of the claims made in the book, are going to dismiss it.

If I were this writer, then, how would I improve this book? Instead of discussing abstract groups of people who are disappointed in their lives I would write about specific people and tell their stories in more depth; I would stop making insulting generalisations about people who did not share my beliefs; I would learn a little about logic and fallacy and apply what I'd learned to my writing; and I'd stop being so very disapproving about the way other people live their lives.

I read fifteen of this book's one hundred and thirty seven pages, and won't be reading any more.

Nymphas’ World: Rachel Haldane

2010-07-29T10:00:00.000+01:00

Nymphas' World

Although Kay is only ten years old, she always knew that she broke away from the ordinary. However, she did not anticipate ever acquainting herself with a fairy. Kay discovers a new world of old that no other human has ever trespassed before, meeting mythical creatures, strange beings and experiencing magic!

Kay and her brother Rob explore the land of Nymphas and learn much about fairy origin. There are, however, evil Nymphas as well as virtuous. Rob is snatched by the Onyx Nymphas and Kay has no choice but to go...

Beyond the Onyx Mountains.

Nymphas' World has the most off-putting cover I've seen on a book for a long time. It's an ugly image, badly executed, without any comedic value to lessen its impact.

The back cover copy is, as you can see, confused and confusing, and can't even manage to remain in one tense. And then we get to the text inside.

It takes a lot of effort to write a novel and this one is relatively substantial, at nearly four hundred pages long: I applaud Ms Haldane’s efforts for getting so far. But I'm afraid that her writing is nowhere near good enough to be published.

She makes so many of the basic errors that I wondered at times if it was intentional: she writes in a very passive voice; she lists almost every action her characters perform, so reducing her pacing to a plodding, pedantic crawl; her sentences are so poorly constructed that it is often difficult to extract any meaning from them; and she has a tendency to sacrifice clarity in favour of big, impressive-sounding words.

These are issues that even the most skilled editor could not fix: with all due respect to Ms Haldane her writing just isn't up to a good enough standard, I'm afraid. I went out of my way to be lenient here, but even so I read just four pages out of three hundred and eighty-four. I strongly advise this writer to read more, and to learn more about the craft of writing, before she considers publishing anything else.

The Darkness: Bill Kirton

2010-07-22T10:00:00.000+01:00

When Tommy Davidson is found with his throat cut, his brother Andrew's shock turns to thoughts of vigilante retribution. Known villains, including the person indirectly responsible for the death, begin to disappear. Thanks to the efforts of one of Cairnburgh's cleverest lawyers, each has managed to evade justice. But not any more. Meantime, rape victim Rhona Kirk starts a new life in Dundee but finds it difficult to shake off her past. As DCI Jack Carston tries to find what links the various missing persons, he's aware of his own darker impulses and of an empathy between himself and the vigilantes. His investigation becomes a race against time and against the pressure of darkness.

The jumbled and dull back cover copy for The Darkness is no indication of the quality of the text of the book itself: I found a lot here to keep me interested, and would like to see what happens to Bill Kirton's work when it is passed through the hands of a competent and demanding editor.

The problems I found—a tendency to exposition, a lack of clear characterisation, a couple of clichés and a few punctuation problems—are all fixable because the underlying writing is strong, clear and fast-moving. Kirton has a raw talent which gives an edge to this book that most writers will never achieve: if he focuses on revising his next text to a higher standard I can see him doing very well indeed.

I was particularly harsh with Mr. Kirton in my judgement of his book but despite that, I read twenty-four of his three hundred and thirteen pages. If I had found this on the slush pile, I would almost certainly have asked to see more: as it is, I am going to cautiously recommend this book despite its flaws.

Moonlight: Keith Knapp

2010-07-15T10:00:00.000+01:00

Fiction/Horror

No more room.

It began with a power outage. A power outage that went beyond lights and televisions. Clocks stopped telling time. Cell phones no longer received signals. Cars became dead relics that wouldn't start.

As the world around them becomes darker, so do the inhabitants of the small town of Westmont, Illinois. A mysterious and evil presence has taken a hold over the village, making the once peaceful town a place of violence and despair

A small group of individuals, untouched by this presence, must uncover the mystery of why they remain normal and discover what—or who—is taking control of their town, one soul at a time.

Because the Man in the Dark Coat is out there. Hunting them.

And not everyone can remain untouched forever.

In the tradition of Stephen King, Dean Koontz and Clive Barker, Keith Knapp tells a horrifying tale of innocence and sin, and what people will overcome to defeat their own innermost demons in the search for hope. This is his first novel.

Moonlight shows great potential. It has an interesting premise and the writer's style is immediate and very accessible, full of believable characters dropped into tricky and surprisingly plausible situations.

Where the book fails is in its editing. I found numerous problems with its punctuation (when will self published writers learn the difference between hyphens and dashes?), a few clichés; redundant statements, some lapses in tense; and a lot of repetition of various plot-points. I understand this last was intended to reinforce the plot but I found it patronising and infuriating, and it only really served to slow the pace of an otherwise fast-moving story.

The author would be wise to improve his editing techniques, too. There is a scene in which a generator will not work which I found particularly irritating: I've lived off-grid for the last thirteen years and we've had several different diesel generators during that time, as have our off-grid neighbours: I've never seen a single generator to work in the way described here. I'll admit I've not had hands-on experience of every single model of generator that there is, and I'm no expert in their workings: but I know enough about them for this description to jar me right out of the narrative—which is exactly what writers should aim to avoid.

In summary, then: a book with real promise and a writer who could do well, let down by basic errors in editing, technique and research. All these should improve with experience, so I hope for better from Mr. Knapp in the future. I read twenty six pages out of a total of four hundred and sixty five, and would have read more had that generator been a little more true-to-life.

Red Poppies: S. P. Miskowski

2010-07-08T10:00:00.000+01:00

Five stories revealing the chilling reality behind the roles women play every day. A sense of dread pervades the atmosphere in these wickedly funny, dark tales of female desperation.

Red Poppies
A house cleaner becomes the muse to a crazy trophy wife and then finds her status threatened by a newcomer.

A Personal Recommendation
A bright student will do whatever it takes to pay for her education.

You Never Know
The eccentric subjects of a documentary offer more strange behaviour than the filmmakers expected.

Next to Nothing
A bitter catering company employee reaches the breaking point during a party at a wealthy client’s house.

Idiot Boy
Some siblings live large and others are born to clean up the mess. (Idiot Boy was originally published by Identity Theory.)

First, the bad news. The back cover copy for this book tells me nothing about the book or its author and needs to be substantially reworked; the layout of the front matter needs addressing; and the image on the jacket is muddy and dull, and could be vastly improved (it would help, too, if the title were easier to read). All these things do affect sales, and with self-published books being so difficult to sell it seems foolish to me that so many writers shoot themselves so firmly in the foot by producing covers and layouts which are below par.

And now, on to the writing. The short story is a very difficult form to master. There's no room for even a single mistake: every word has to earn its keep, and in an anthology every short story has to work alone and in conjunction with the others that it shares space with.

In Red Poppies there are a few glitches in punctuation which I mostly ignored, because I found the writer's voice so clear and compelling; some of the plots felt a little trite; the writer has a tendency to exposition which on occasion chopped into the flow of text. However, if she continues to refine and improve her work, and reads widely in the genre, I suspect we'll see more from Ms Miskowski in the future. This a good collection, which could do with a little more polishing and a few more stories: but which nevertheless carries with it echoes of Grace Paley and Aimee Bender. I read it all, and recommend it.

Leviathan's Master: David M Quinn

2010-07-01T10:00:00.002+01:00

HISTORICAL FICTION It was the biggest sailing vessel ever built and the world's first supertanker. In the winter of 1907, the T.W. Lawson, a four-hundred foot schooner with seven masts, makes her first transatlantic crossing with more than two million gallons of kerosene to be delivered to London. With almost fifty years of sailing experience, Captain George W. Dow Is not intimidated, despite the Lawson's checkered history. But hurricane winds and an angry sea conspire to defeat man and machine. Bereft of her sails, the giant ship is trapped in treacherous shoals off the southwest coast of Britain. Seventeen lives are lost, including a local pilot trying to avert disaster. Now, Captain Dow is called to account—most especially to himself. Leviathan's Master is a true story, transformed into a gripping historical novella by the captain's great, great nephew.

Praise for David M. Quinn’s

It May Be Forever—An Irish Rebel on the American Frontier

"Master storyteller, David Quinn, erases time.... To transport the reader is the writer's job. Quinn does just that." Mary Sojourner, Novelist and NPR Contributor
"A beautifully written historical novel filled with excellent research and characters! Highly recommended!" USABOOKNEWS.COM

Visit the author's website: www.davidquinnbooks.com

iUniverse Editor's Choice

This is a momentous day for, after more than a year of reviewing books here, I have finally found a self-published writer who understands the difference between the hyphen and the em-dash. Hurrah! Here ensues much rejoicing.

Right. That's quite enough of that. Because apart from Mr. Quinn's impeccable em-dashery Leviathan's Master: The Wreck of the World's Largest Sailing Ship fails on the same old points: his writing just isn't strong enough. His dialogue is wooden, and veers queasily between an oddly-formal, Hollywoodesque archaic pattern and a more modern idiom: he uses dialogue to present great big chunks of exposition, so reinforcing its woodenness; and I found several contradictions, lapses of point of view and tense, and problems with logic: for example, the narrator describes the house he is in from various points outside; but he is bed-bound, and was brought to this house following an accident: he can't even walk to his bedside chair, let alone walk around the outside of the house; so how could he possibly know what the house looks like from the outside?

Once again, then, this is a story with potential let down by lacklustre writing. A better editor would have picked up these mistakes: but then a better writer would not have made them. I did my best to be kind, and managed to read fourteen pages out of one hundred and nine.

More About The Song: Rachel Fox

2010-06-24T10:00:00.000+01:00

Exposing

Does a blurb ever lie?
Can it tell what's inside?
Go on, open me up
I have nothing to hide

Poetry was the first thing I ever had published: I've read a lot of it, I've written a lot of it (mostly bad), and, more importantly, I expect a lot from it. I expect poetry to have some sort of lyrical beauty even if it's a harsh or bloody kind; I expect its language to be at once sparse and pure, and dense with meaning. I want to read poetry which makes me think more deeply, surprises me, and which stays with me for days after I've read it. It's a very restricted form and so, more than any other, poetry cannot afford to have even a single word misplaced.

What poetry should not be is unfocused, meandering or trite. It shouldn't remind me of that boring bloke I sat next to on a train once who insisted on telling me all of his poorly-informed opinions about things I'm just not interested in.

I'm afraid that Rachel Fox's More About the Song fell into the category of my second paragraph, not my first. Her language is plodding, her imagery almost non-existent, her rhythms are unreliable and her ideas are trite. She hammers her points home in a way which is entirely unpoetic: and although I read this slim collection right to its end I cannot recommend it. It left me feeling dismayed and faintly embarrassed, which I don't suppose was the author's intended effect.

Maids Of Misfortune: M Louisa Locke

2010-06-17T10:00:00.000+01:00

HISTORICAL FICTION

It's the summer of 1879, and Annie Fuller, a young San Francisco widow, is in trouble. Annie's husband squandered her fortune before committing suicide five years earlier, and one of his creditors is now threatening to take the boardinghouse she owns to pay off a debt.

Annie Fuller also has a secret. She supplements her income by giving domestic and business advice as Madam Sibyl, one of San Francisco's most exclusive clairvoyants, and one of Madam Sibyl's clients, Matthew Voss, has died. The police believe his death was suicide brought upon by bankruptcy, but Annie believes Voss has been murdered and that his assets have been stolen.

Nate Dawson has a problem. As the Voss family lawyer, he would love to believe that Matthew Voss didn't leave his grieving family destitute. But that would mean working with Annie Fuller, a woman who alternatively attracts and infuriates him as she shatters every notion he ever had of proper ladylike behaviour.

Sparks fly as Anne and Nate pursue the truth about the murder of Matthew Voss in this light-hearted historical mystery set in the foggy gas-lit world of Victorian San Francisco.

The author is currently living in San Diego with her husband and assorted animals, where she is working on Uneasy Spirits, the next instalment of her series of historical mysteries set in Victorian San Francisco. Go to www.mlouisalocke.com to find out more about M. Louisa Locke and her work.

Maids of Misfortune is competently written and clicks along at a pretty good pace, once you get over the frequent blocks of exposition which stand in your way. There are a few clichés to interrupt the flow, which could easily be remedied; and a couple of places where a more modern idiom intrudes on an otherwise Victorian world.

It's a light, bright read which can't be taken too seriously: and in the end it was this frothiness which let the book down for me. I couldn't quite believe in any of its rather flimsy characters; the situations which they found themselves in were just a little too sanitised and lacking in depth to fully catch my attention; and despite the author's evident skill I found her main character almost scarily cheerful, and longed for her to reveal a darker side.

Despite my reservations, though, I read ninety-three pages out of three hundred and twenty-nine, and might well dip back into this book. It is well above the average of the books that I read for this blog, and consequently I'm happy to cautiously recommend it to you.

Stubbs And Bernadette: Levi Montgomery

2010-06-10T10:00:00.000+01:00

You cannot be yourself, until you know who you are.

Her name is Bernadette Elsbeth McIntyre, and she hates it. There's a whole story about the people in the family she’s named after, people she's never met, never seen, never heard from, but she tries to not learn it, tries to not remember it. She hates names in general, and her name in particular. She hates the whole concept of names. Names make things real. Names give things substance. Knowing names gives people power. Only someone who knows your name can get you into trouble. Think about it — what's the first thing the cops always ask you for?

Alone, at home, in bed, he goes again through the long catalog of her imperfections, trying to make sense of this whole thing, trying to scare himself off, away from this whole spooky set of new feelings. Her hair is wild and uneven, her ears stick out a little, her eyes... well, all right, there is absolutely nothing wrong with her big green eyes. Her nose has been broken, and it's a little crooked, her lips are a tiny bit thicker on the left than the right, her chin is pointy. Her cheekbones, her collarbones, the bones of her wrists and knees, her hipbones, are all just a tiny bit too prominent, her arms and legs a tiny bit too thin. To top all that off, she's weird — she dresses oddly, shouts at teachers, smashes peas on the lunchroom tables...

Why why why is she the most attractive girl he's ever seen? Why can't he stop thinking about her? Why can't he sleep?

Levi Montgomery lives in Northwest Washington. He has been married for nearly thirty years, and he and his wife have six children, four of whom are active-duty United States military personnel.

Stubbs and Bernadette is an extraordinary book, and Levi Montgomery is a writer of rare potential. He has created some wonderful characters who would veer close to caricature in the hands of a lesser writer: but with him in control they are complex, compelling and utterly believable. I love the stream-of-consciousness flow of his text, and the intimacy and subtlety with which he writes.

Where he lets himself down, though, is in the editing of his work. He frequently takes far too long to make his point; he makes the same point over and over, which gets a little irritating for the reader; and he makes far too much of some things which add nothing to the forward movement of his story, or to the depth of his characterisations.

Stubbs And Bernadette is readable and enchanting: but it would be significantly better if a good editor got her hands on it and helped Montgomery pare away all of his unnecessary meanderings. It would result in a tighter, more compelling narrative without sacrificing any of the beauty and subtlety of Montgomery's text. I read fifty-two pages out of two hundred and two in order to reach my score of fifteen: but I will be reading this on to the end, and despite its flaws I recommend it wholeheartedly. It's a beautiful, bewitching book with the potential to be even better.

ASO: Lindsey Mackie

2010-06-03T10:00:00.000+01:00

It has taken ruthless dedication for Rachel Develin to achieve her in the status as a Fidelis Officer in ASO, a society born from the remains of old Britain. Here in 2050, the role of the family has been redefined and, under the leadership of Magnamater Beatrice, people live in age-related regions. In Abovo, trained professionals named Maters rear all children before they graduate to Suris, where they stay and contribute until they reach 55 and are obliged to resort to Olim. It is a time of limited resources when all energy and water supplies are strictly controlled, each garment is recycled and every child is an eagerly awaited prize.

Rachel's highly developed physical and intellectual abilities have always commanded respect, but privately the strain is now telling. While her fragile union with Ben has survived his infidelities, she struggles to suppress the need to be with her daughter, Bera, and to ignore the growing social unrest.

Her latest assignment begins with a routine interrogation, but her investigations are forced in a more unpredictable direction by the unaccountable Death of her superior officer, Josie Kitchener, with whom she has had a long and volatile relationship.

Her discoveries, and the punishments she must administer and endure, force stark choices that irreversibly change her loyalties and threaten the stability of ASO itself.

Accompanied by a CD featuring original music tracks written and performed by the author.

Aso is a perfect example of why editors are needed. The author has a tendency to slightly wooden and over-formal dialogue, and her writing is occasionally rather muddled, an effect which is exacerbated by her habit of head-hopping. Despite these faults she does have a mostly smooth and fluent style—which she then scuppers with numerous errors in punctuation, which range from minor errors to problems which completely cloud her intended meaning.

This tendency to confusion—both in the writing style and the misuse of punctuation—leads to a rather unsatisfactory read of a book which might well have shone had it been edited more effectively.

Mackie shows promise: she seems proficient at world-building, and there is an undercurrent of a lovely, lyrical tone: but she needs to pay more attention to detail, and to have more awareness of some of the pitfalls of the craft of writing, if she is going to fully realise that promise. I read eleven pages out of three hundred and three.

This review should have been published a long time ago: my apologies for its delay.

The Wave Queen: Caroline Harris

2010-05-27T10:00:00.000+01:00

Adventure Romance Suspense

After inheriting a diary written by a 19th century ship's cook, together with a handwritten will and USA naturalisation papers I was inspired to tell the story of the voyage of the Wave Queen, a merchant vessel, from Shoreham, England to Valparaiso, Chile in the year 1872.
Three years of research and the book became a fictional adventure story based on fact.
The hero, Charles Hamilton-Bashford is an eighteen year old Eton School-boy. He recklessly squanders his five thousand pound annual allowance and being hard-pressed for the payment of debts, begs his father to give him an advance. On refusal he in his desperation steals and forges his father's cheque to settle his debts.
Charles' father, a retired Major and a respected Magistrate, discovers the forgery and sends Charles to serve on a cargo ship separating him from his sweetheart, Florry.
Charles escapes before the ship sails, and reaches his aunt ‘s London home only to be recaptured and sent back to the Wave Queen.

Meanwhile Florry is propelled into a series of tumultuous events.

What adventures will befall them ?
Will he returned to England?
Will he ever be re-united with Florry?

The Wave Queen is full of careless errors. I found misplaced commas, missing quotation marks, inconsistent formatting, comma splices, and some random capitalisations. Charles, its central character, uses a modern idiom throughout while his father talks more like Mr. Banks, the father in Mary Poppins; and the heavies who visit Charles in order to encourage him to pay his debts complete our Disney picture by talking a pastiche of English which owes more to Dick Van Dyke than to 1872, the year in which this book is set.

The author has failed quite spectacularly with some of her more basic research: for example, she provides Charles with an annual allowance of £5,000 which equates to an income of £2.7m today which could be possible, I suppose, but it's a heck of an amount for an eighteen-year-old to have unsupervised access to while at boarding school.

The text lacks detail, colour and sophistication and despite my very best attempts to be lenient, I read just three pages of it.

Songs From The Other Side Of The Wall: Dan Holloway

2010-05-20T10:00:00.003+01:00

The day the Berlin Wall came down, Jennifer returned to England, leaving her week-old daughter, Szandi, to grow up on a Hungarian vineyard with 300 years of history. Now 18, Szandi is part of Budapest's cosmopolitan art scene, sharing a flat and a bohemian lifestyle with her lover and fellow sculptress, Yang. She has finally found a place in the world. Then a letter arrives that threatens everything, and forces her to choose once and for all: between the past and the present; between East and West; between her family and her lover.

Quirky, contemporary, and ultra-cool; sensuous, seductive, and heartbreaking: Songs from the Other Side of the Wall is a coming of age story that inhabits anti-capitalists chatrooms and ancient wine cellars, seedy bars and dreaming spires; and takes us on a remarkable journey across Europe and cyberspace in the company of rock stars and dropouts, diaries that appear from nowhere, a telepathic fashion mogul, and the talking statue of a bull.

I found a few things to criticise in the production of this book: its cover image is far too low-resolution to work well; its front-matter and end-matter are jumbled and unfocused and so fail to do their jobs properly; but the typesetting of the main text is elegant and spacious and very readable, which immediately set it apart from most of the books I have looked at for this blog. Some of the characters used in the italic fonts were overly heavy and so distracting, and really should be corrected; but that’s a tiny thing which I hope will be resolved in subsequent editions of this book.

And now onto the really important stuff.

Dan Holloway writes with a wistful, writerly tone which he handles with great skill. However, he hasn't edited this book rigorously enough and so at times his writing is overly complex or descriptive (or both), which drags down his pacing. He risks losing his readers’ attention because of this which would be a shame: but it could be easily fixed if he could force himself to be a more ruthless editor. I would also like to see more variation in tone: while wistful is good it can get rather wearying if it's not lightened occasionally with joy or laughter of some kind, and I wonder if this is something that Dan might find more difficult to fix.

Please don’t think that I’m dismissing Songs From The Other Side Of The Wall: I’m not. Despite my criticisms I think that this is a lovely book written in that rare thing: beautiful, lyrical prose. Dan Holloway is a writer of talent and great potential who we should hear more from. I read it all and recommend it.

The Chronicles Of Bobby Isaacs: Stuck In The Friend Zone: LG Putzer

2010-05-13T10:00:00.000+01:00

When eleven-year-old, band geek, Bobby Isaacs falls in like with his best friend, Jenna Richards, he uncovers a secret about Chris Kruger, the school bully. In a plot to impress Jenna, Bobby enters a spelling bee, hoping to come in first place. Desperation drives him to do something that gets Chris Kruger's attention. After the two fight, Bobby discovers Chris's terrible secret, but not before Chris destroys Bobby's most prized possession.

Stuck in the Friend Zone is a story about two of the most fundamental yet important universal concepts Forgiveness and Understanding.

I've received quite a few books like this one lately: books with an engaging tone, from writers who are competent and who show potential: but they are all let down by careless errors which should have been caught at the copy-editing stage.

Of the fifteen issues I found in THE Chronicles of Bobby Isaacs: Stuck in the Friend Zone, all but three concerned basic copyediting issues (double hyphens used for some of the dashes; some random and rather odd capitalisations; several extraneous commas, etc). Two of the remaining three focused on some clunky exposition; and the final point was that while I understand that all children are different I don't believe that a boy with Bobby's background would be showing such an interest in girls while still only eleven years old.

I can see that he might be vaguely aware of girls; but I don't believe that awareness would have developed as far as it seems to have done in this book. If the passages concerning Bobby's feelings for Jenna had been written in a more "something is happening here but I don't quite get it" tone I might have believed it more but as it is written, I just didn't.

So: I would advise Lena Putzer to pay a lot more attention to copy-editing her work in future; to be more alert to the dangers that exposition poses to her pacing and tone; and to see if she could make this major part of her storyline—Bobby Isaacs’ feelings towards Jenna—a little more believable. Because if she resolves these issues then she could have a fabulous book on her hands: her writing is lively and funny and gave me a real sense that I was acquainted with the characters, and that I understood their world. It's a shame she failed on the basics having done so well with the more difficult stuff: I read seven pages out of a total of two hundred and forty-one.

Eternal Horizon: A Star Saga; David Roman

2010-05-06T10:00:00.000+01:00

Chronicles Of Vincent Saturn

An Illustrated Novel-Encyclopedia By David Roman

Eternal Horizon is a science fiction saga about a secret brotherhood of ten men with psionic powers and their internal conflict that decides the fate of an entire galaxy. It's a tale about war, love, adventure, and the relentless hunger for supremacy. The story follows a man bent on recreating reality, a general seeking redemption for his past sins, a loyalist, a megalomaniac, two brothers, and a mysterious man from an unknown system called "Earth."

CHARACTERS, + STATS & BIO, SHIP DIAGRAMS, + TOP & REAR VIEW

ETERNAL HORIZON

Eternal Horizon incorporates sci-fi, fantasy, superhero, and role-playing-game elements to bring you the very first novel-encyclopedia. Aside from having a powerful tale that will take you beyond the stars, Eternal Horizon has more than 70 illustrations.

ROBOTS, VEHICLES, CHAPTER OPENERS, TROOPS, & MORE

Chronicles of Vincent Saturn

Oryon Krynne, a dissident member of the brotherhood, is ambushed by the evil general Zeth on his covert mission. Fatally wounded, Oryon makes it to his ship and blasts off, heading for an unknown direction...

Vincent Saturn is a spontaneous federal agent who’s investigating a crashed alien vessel. His brief contact with Oryon changes his life for ever. Vincent wakes up on a distant planet with a hazy memory and falls into the hands of Oryon's cohorts—a faction determined to free the galaxy from a terrible regime called "Imperial Republic." Lost, vilified, and dubbed a liar, he follows the colorful group on their trek across multiple worlds. Refusing to accept that he's stranded and the idea that some bizarre power is boiling in his veins, Vincent struggles to find his way home, all the while getting closer to his companions and a beautiful alien princess...

I can sympathise with this writer: I have a strong tendency to overwrite, just as he does. The difference is, though, that over the years I've learned to recognise some of my worst excesses and to correct them before I let even my closest friends read my work: whereas Mr. Roman has made his book available to the world in all its overwritten glory.

It's a shame. There's a tension to his writing which hints of greater things to come from him: he might not yet have acquired enough skill or experience to self-edit effectively, but he does demonstrate a raw talent that most others lack. I'd advise him to join a writing group, to find good writers who are willing to give him some advice (as always, Absolute Write is a good place to start), and to read as much as he can if he really wants to improve.

It wasn't his writing that really let Eternal Horizon down, though: its cover is quite embarrassingly bad. The artwork for the front cover doesn't fit the book’s format, leaving a band of plain black along the bottom of the book; all of the artwork is low-resolution, and can't stand up to the scrutiny of being reproduced at this size so it's fuzzy, and the text is all out of focus; the black-and-white illustrations on the back are muddy and grey; and the layout is amateurish and unattractive.

Add to that a lamentably bad blurb, which I found confusing and full of cliches, and you'll understand how I found my first ten problems on the cover, despite several attempts to be generous.

I read less than one full page of this book but would probably have read quite a few more pages if the jacket had shown even the slightest nod towards professionalism. This is a poor result for a writer who does show signs of talent; but a perfect demonstration of how self publishing is often a poor choice for a writer to make.

First Wolf: Carol Anne Carr

2010-04-29T10:00:00.001+01:00

It was Toland's twelfth year of life when his father hurled the wolf's head at the mighty Eorl Uhtred, bringing his childhood to a violent end. These were dangerous times, with people driven from their settlements, tribal wars, and bands of robbers on the roads, but Toland must keep his solemn promise to save the Lindisfarne Gospels from the Vikings, protect his family, and find his father. With his faithful hound Bodo, he sets off on his quest through Anglo-Saxon Northumbria and his many adventures lead him to the mysterious hermit on Inner Farne, the mystery of the stolen jewels, a blood debt, and a terrible discovery at the White Church...

I had high hopes for First Wolf: it has an above-average front cover (although the author's name is in the wrong font, the wrong colour, and wrong position); and although the back cover copy is flawed (it contains a tense-change, is a little confusing, and at times reads a bit like a shopping list) it could be brought up to standard without too much trouble. The book's premise appealed to me too, with its echoes of Alan Garner and its roots in a particularly spectacular part of our landscape and history. But, as is often the case with self-published books, the text is in need of a strong edit, and that's what lets this book down in the end.

In my view, it suffers from a surplus of commas. I realise that not everyone will agree with me on this point: but I prefer text to be as clear and clean as possible and including commas when they're not strictly needed makes this impossible. Before you all shout me down here, bear in mind that my preference for clarity-without-commas hasn't developed simply because I dislike the look of them on the page: it's because their overuse often hides a fundamental problem with the text which they adorn.

Too often, commas are used to prop up an inadequate sentence structure, or to try to improve a syntax which is forced and lacking in fluency: and that's what has happened here. A good editor would have helped the writer correct all those errors and let the fast-paced story shine: as it is, the story's excitement is dulled by the writer's slightly confusing writing, her oddly over-formal tone, and her frequently illogical statements. Which is a shame, as with a proper edit this book could have been much improved. I read seven pages out of one hundred and fifty-five, and despite their flaws rather enjoyed them.

Einstein And Human Consciousness (Eternity Is An Instant): Brad Buettner

2010-04-22T10:00:00.002+01:00

HEALTH/INSPIRATION

Which is more important: the practical or the sublime? Are you a Doer or a Dreamer? Brad Buettner has over twenty-four years of experience utilizing his physics degree in a wide array of engineering and management assignments. With this background he examines early twentieth-century physics and human relationships observed during his professional tenure to illustrate how Einstein's theory of relativity pertains to our perception of time and how it explains divisions in our outlook. By applying the theory of relativity to human consciousness, Buettner discovers the motivation for personal inclination toward either the practical or the abstract.

Buettner defines total reality as containing more than the reality our senses perceive. When discussing alternate forms of reality, however, he insists on measurable and observable conclusions, eliminating references to mysticism, magic, or mystery. He outlines an engaging search for the unlikely possibility of interaction with the reality that existed before the Big Bang.

Einstein in Human Consciousness: Eternity is an Instant provides stunning revelations concerning human reality. Does your world extend beyond that perceived by the physical senses? If so, why? Buettner offers the answers to these questions by explaining an aspect of reality that was previously elusive.

Brad Buettner received physics and metallurgical degrees from Benedictine and Lehigh Universities, which he applied to a varied career in engineering and management. He's lived or worked in New York City, Baltimore, Princeton, and the Chicago area. He has a wife and two sons and currently resides in the Chicago suburbs.

Brad Buettner might have written his book Einstein and Human Consciousness: Eternity is an Instant around an interesting theory, and he certainly has an easy, fluent writing style. But both were spoiled for me by his repeated reassurances that I would be able to understand his reasoning if I only tried, even if I wasn't very highly educated. I found some of his comments about this patronising, and at times almost insulting.

When Buettner commented, "Dreamers have a different view of reality than Doers, and the reason is that Dreamers concentrate on a different reality altogether. Dreamers have found a peculiar aspect of human consciousness that has different properties than the physical reality that our senses detect" I wonder if he realised that he was casting Dreamers as "other"?

Buettner is at his best when he explains proven, accepted concepts: his account of relative time is clear, elegant and interesting. His writing is good; his text is beautifully error-free. But in trying to reach a wider audience he's only succeeded in patronising us all; and he's perhaps revealed more about himself than he had planned to in places. I stopped reading on page nine, when I came across this:

Imagine the ridicule simpler minds must have given Einstein when they first heard his proposal.

I don't like the implication that anyone less clever than Einstein (which, let's face it, includes pretty much most of us) would have automatically ridiculed him for proposing his theory: most, I suspect, would have asked him questions and tried to understand it for themselves. The human race is usually more curious than it is judgemental: if we weren't, we would never have escaped our more superstitious beliefs and reached the moon. Because of that I'm not going to judge Mr. Buettner for apparently thinking so little of his readers: instead I'm going to wonder how much better his book would have been if he'd worked with someone who challenged his ideas and edited out all of his more patronising bits. How good could it have been then?

We Were Not Lost: Constance Kopriva

2010-04-15T10:00:00.000+01:00

They are not Indians. That is a name some European gave to a people they thought were lost. They were not lost; it was the European who was lost.

Trenda, a young Pomo woman, lives in 1791 in the Valley of the Moons, which will become known as Sonoma Valley, California. Everything is alive, and all is holy. It is a perfect world with harmony and beauty between man and nature. Trenda tells her own story about being a shaman, seeing the future in her dreams, and learning to help heal her people. Eventually, she must leave home to marry Yosomo, a Miwok from the tribe by the sea. She is both happy and sad. When the Spanish come and destroy her perfect world, Trenda is separated from Yosomo. Treated like animals, they are forced to work. Trenda longs to be reunited with her husband and wants only what any human wants: to be free in the world she loves.

Constance Kopriva lives with her husband of thirty-three years in Sonoma, California, a forty-five mile drive north of San Francisco. They now own a few acres that long ago were part of (General) Vallejo Rancho. Obsidian shards and arrowheads, stone pestles, and mortars found on their land are evidence that early native people once lived there. After taking a class about Sonoma history and hearing a different version from a Pomo descendent regarding the Spanish conquest of early California, she was inspired to tell this story, We Were Not Lost.

We Were Not Lost should not work as a book. At times it reads like a Hollywood cowboys-and-indians script with its talk of "many moons" and "pale faces"; despite the writer's obvious preference for a stereotypical, stilted writing-style I found several instances where a more contemporary language intruded; and at just fifty printed pages long it is no more than an over-long short story printed in book form. The author clearly doesn't know the correct use of "lay" vs. "lie"; and I found some of the final sequences rushed and unbelievable. But you'll notice that I mention the book's final sequences: and that's because I read it all in just one sitting.

Despite its problems, this story is clean and sparse and engaging. Not only it is fast-paced and vivid, it’s also a remarkably clean text with very few minor errors. And although I have my misgivings about the stereotypical view it gives of the people and events it portrays, I did enjoy it.

If I were the author I would strongly consider rewriting it with the aim of making it far less stereotypical. I would strip out the Hollywood-movie phrasing and replace it with a language which was less likely to set people's cliché-alarms clanging; and I'd extend the story to include sub-plots, and to introduce more shades of grey into the central story: at present it's very much "white equals bad, Pomo equals good", and this means that the story is predictable and lacking in depth.

So, the writing is flawed, the storytelling lacks subtlety and texture; and yet I read it right to the end. For that reason I recommend it, but with reservations (and no, that's not a pun). I hope that this author continues to write because despite my reservations I think she could eventually become very good, if she gets the right guidance and advice.

Petalon: Cornelius W Hyzer, Sr

2010-04-08T10:00:00.001+01:00

History flows like a river with tributaries and small streams feeding it on its inexorable journey to the sea. Sometimes it is blocked by ice or artificial dams, but it always breaks through. Floods and droughts change the level of the water, making it flow faster or slower, destructively or congenially. Most people enjoy the quiet times by the river, but historians prefer the rapids and violent waterfalls.

I read just eight pages of Petalon, which is a shame. If Mr. Hyzer had revised this book more thoroughly and paid more careful attention to the details, he could have had a real winner on his hands.

The little I read was full of potential: I think there could be a good story here, and the author does show an understanding of structure and pacing, which are both very important in fiction. However, his writing was often jumbled and confusing; he drops chunks of exposition into his text which further disrupt its flow; he makes sweeping statements which range from wrong to ludicrous; and he really needs to improve his copy-editing skills if he wants to hold his readers’ attention.

I did come across the odd undercurrent of excitement in the text: brief moments when there was a buzz of tension, which reminded me a little of Grisham and Coben. The difference is that both Grisham and Coben establish that tension early and then maintain it for pages at a time, whereas in Hyzer’s text it's gone almost as soon as it appears.

Petalon looks suspiciously like an early attempt at writing to me. This writer has the potential to achieve much more, and to be much better. Whether he'll realise that potential is entirely up to him, and the effort that he's prepared to put in from now on.

The Snow Cow: Martin Kochanski

2010-04-01T10:00:00.000+01:00

Ghost Stories for Skiers

That chill running down your spine—is it just the melting snow?

The thirteen stories in The Snow Cow tell of love and death, terror and joy, mixing ancient myths with modern legends. They are stories to be shared in the firelight after a long day's skiing.

The skier who leaves tracks on inaccessible mountain faces—is he dead or alive?

Your chalet girl—could she be a mass murderer?

A woman on her wedding night, a promise made to the devil—how can she escape?

Experience impossible love in Not This Time. Ski with a ghost in The Long Man. Discover a new twist to an old legend in The Passport of Dorian Gray. And be haunted by the terrifying tale of The Snow Cow herself!

After you have read this book, skiing will never be the same again.

Short story collections are notoriously difficult to sell: if you manage to find a publisher willing to take them on, that publisher is going to struggle to find readers to buy your book (unless you are already a major name). If you then announce that your short story collection is intended for a specific niche market you're narrowing your market even further. Which is why, if I were Martin Kochanski, I'd remove the tag-line "Ghost Stories for Skiers" from the cover of The Snow Cow: Ghost Stories for Skiers. I don't think it adds much value, and I'm concerned that it will lose him sales despite his fabulous cover, which I thought delightful.

As for his stories: they're not in the same class as the blisteringly good collections I've read from Salt Publishing, but then Martin doesn't pretend to write literary fiction: these are more mainstream, and somewhat laddish. They are mostly competent, clear and amusing and consequently, I mostly enjoyed them.

I did find several of the stories just a little unsatisfying. They were at times trite, obvious, or too neatly tied up: a couple of the stories seemed to run out of steam and ended more from apathy than anything else. I don't think that's due to a lack of ability on Kochanski's part: I suspect it has more to do with his experience (or lack of it) as a writer. The Snow Cow is his first publication, and he's probably too new to the form to have fully got to grips with its conventions and requirements. With a good few thousand words more to his credit he's going to be a much better writer (I'd advise him to read widely in the form, to): as it is, The Snow Cow is an entertaining but not a challenging or life-changing read, and I expect Martin Kochanski will improve greatly in the future. I read it all and do think that he's off to a good start: but despite that I feel that this collection lacks that significant quality which transforms our writing from pedestrian to compelling. Give him time.

In The Land Of Cotton: Martha A Taylor

2010-03-25T10:00:00.003Z

Political Freedom & Security - Civil Rights

SLAVERY IS MORE THAN CHAINS AND SHACKLES
SLAVERY IS A STATE OF MIND

Immerse yourself in this highly anticipated political docu-drama set in the Deep South amidst the backdrop of the Civil Rights Movement.

Martha was a young white girl living in the Deep South, inundated with the racist sentiments of the times. But Martha's natural curiosity and generous heart led her to question this racial divide. When she discovered a primitive Negro family living deep in the woods near her house, everyone's life changed for ever.

Take the journey of a lifetime alongside Martha as she forges relationships that lead to self discovery and a clearer understanding of the world around her. In the Land of Cotton provides an outstanding snapshot of life in the South during those troubled times – a snapshot everyone should take a close look at, regardless of era or color.

The year was 1956.

I have a feeling that there's a fascinating story lurking on the pages of In the Land of Cotton: the problem is that it's buried beneath a lot of clumsy writing and careless mistakes, most of which could be cleared up by a careful edit and a thoughtful rewrite. Several sentences were so poorly-written that I had to stop and reread them in order to understand them fully; and there were a few places where entirely the wrong words had been used. The foreword is particularly badly-written and does the book no favours—I would drop it entirely; but if the writer is determined to keep it then she'd be wise to at least explain who its author is, and why his opinion of her and this book is significant: because although he's clearly significant to her, I don't know who he is or how he is connected to the book.

Overall, then, this book is a missed opportunity: its writer rushed into publication before she was really ready for it. Her writing is not yet good enough to be published, and her editing skills will have to be far sharper than they are right now if she wants to make the best of her work.

If she had worked harder on learning her craft and been a little less eager to get into print she'd have done herself and her readers a big favour: as it is, the book just isn't good enough. I read seventeen pages of In the Land of Cotton, and I closed this book feeling saddened: the writer could have done so much better if she had only taken a little more time.

Behind Every Illusion: Christina Harner

2010-03-18T10:00:00.001Z

"I know you don't see it, but deep inside, I see a girl who is strong, who deeply cares about others and who will fight for what is right. And besides," he said in a whisper, "You were right... I have been looking for you."

"This is such an original and unique story.... Christina crafted a beautiful story with a wonderful purpose that involves a lot of the issues that our planet is having today." -Fantastic Book Review

WHEN SOFT-SPOKEN TATIANA TURNS 18, SHE BEGINS TO EXPERIENCE UNUSUAL CHANGES. Suddenly, she can read minds, sense emotions and move at a speed that far surpasses anything she's known before. When her physical features begin to change as well, Tatiana tries desperately to keep her new abilities are secret. Amidst tragedy, unimaginable transformations and an unexpected friendship, Tatiana has to learn to reveal the girl hidden behind her Illusions and what it means to face the world in order to preserve not only the forest but her very existence.

CHRISTINA HARNER spent years studying the complexities of culture for her B.A. A lover of all things fantasy, creating imaginary beings and stories in her head, she is thrilled to finally blend her passions for anthropology, nature and the unknown realm of fairies together in this debut book.

This book presented me with all sorts of problems. I found plenty of mistakes and editing issues inside it; and yet I just kept reading and on many occasions I didn't mark those mistakes down because the writing held my attention far too well.

Don't get me wrong: it is in need of a strong edit. There is far too much repetition. The writer often takes several scenes to make her point when only one is really needed and this means that the pacing is far too slow and the book is far too long for its young adult audience. There's a lot of exposition; and there were several instances where although I think I understood what the writer meant she had actually written something completely different. These are all things which could easily be corrected by a good edit and buried beneath all these problems there is probably a very good book, albeit a much shorter one. Despite those problems I read all four hundred and ninety three pages of this book, and I enjoyed almost everyone. If Ms Harner pays sufficient attention to developing her editing skills alongside her writing, she could be a name for us to watch out for in the future.

With My Pen as My Witness: Ian Boyd

2010-03-11T10:00:00.001Z

A self-compiled collection of modern musings. This publication ranges from the political to the comical, from the dark to the romantic.

Following the author's journey throughout university we travel through his mind, his nights out and his emotions. While his future wife lives in a different country, he drinks too much, he parties too hard and he tries his best to hide the pain.

We move on through to his questioning of the world around him, his job, his musical ambitions and watch as he moves to the capital in search of dreams.

This ironic but beautiful collection of poems will remind you of the best of times and the worst of times.

This is the first part in an on-going collection of thoughts.

Reading this slim collection of poems I felt as though I was spying on the author: it reads like an adolescent's journal-scribblings, and just isn't ready to be published.

Poetry is one of the most concentrated art-forms there is: to work, poetry has to be lyrical, intense, fresh and pure, and I'm afraid that I don't see a single one of those qualities in Boyd's work. His poems look like real poetry on the page—or at least, they would if the book had been formatted a little better, and the typesetting had been carried out by someone more skilled at the job—but I'm afraid that's as far as the resemblance goes.

If Mr Boyd wants to attract a decent readership then I strongly advise him to read a lot of good poetry and to do his best to develop an understanding of rhythm, imagery and depth before he publishes any more of his work. I read just three pages out of thirty-one, despite my repeated attempts at leniency.

Selected Poems 1967- 2007: Hudson Owen

2010-03-04T10:00:00.000Z

The 63 poems in this volume represent four decades of the author's writing life. The reader will find poems of work, love, loss, sports, art, the natural world, in a variety of verse forms. There are tears, laughter, reflections, dreams in these pages. The author believes that the verities of Truth and Beauty are as relevant for poets today as they were when John Keats announced them in his day.

Comments from readers on poems included in this book:

"I like ‘Evening Near The Park’ and the Samuel Morse poem very much."
Richard Wilbur, Pulitzer Prize winner

In response to a poem written about a painting by the artist:
"You have done in words what I attempted in paint. Thank you for it."
James Wyeth

"Your ‘Mona Lisa’ was excellent!"
T.E. Breitenbach, Painter and Author of Proverbidioms

Front cover by the author.

Hudson Owen was born in Buffalo, New York, in 1946 and grew up in Wilmington, Delaware. He is a published poet, essayist and produced playwright in New York City, where he has acted. He is also a photographer and digital artist.

Dear Hudson

I promised to review your book:
you sent it in the post.
It did not come for weeks and weeks
and we thought it had got lost.

So when at last it landed here
there was some celebration
because I was, I will admit
pleased to have your publication.

I read your intro with delight:
you're articulate and funny
(I especially enjoyed the parts
where you talked about the money).

But when I came to read your verse
I got a little worried:
your rhyming schemes are fine but
your meter's rather hurried.

Your early poems are sweet and warm
but not sophisticated;
the one you call The Kissing Song
I very nearly hated.

Despite my reservations, though,
I vowed I would read on
but when I was less than half-way through
my interest had gone.

I prefer my poetry
To have a deeper meaning:
I like it strong and brave and bold
With a literary leaning.

I really like the Thomas boys,
Ted Hughes and Daniel Abse:
I consider the work of Ezra P
to be absolutely fabsy.

You are so close to rather good
I find it tantalising:
your poems could be so improved
with just a little more revising.

If you could try to up your game
and sharpen every line,
and layer images with meaning
then I think you'll do just fine.

So please, dear Hudson: do not weep.
Do not be cross with me.
I think you have a talent
and I reached page forty-three.

Solomonovsky: Michael J Landy

2010-02-25T10:00:00.001Z

16-year-old Ruth Levinson is snooty, pampered, and in cold control of her destiny. Until Solomonovsky steps into her life and sends it hurtling off into the darkest corners of hell. Can she escape unharmed?

‘I enjoyed it, admired it, and found myself gripped by it. I put my work down to read 30 pages or so, and read the whole book at a sitting.’

DAVID NOBBS
(Creator of Reginald Perrin)

Solomonovsky has been languishing in my reviewing-bag for far too long. I've made several attempts to read the book so that I could write a decent review: but despite Michael J Landy's fluent writing and mostly-clean editing I've made very poor headway with this book.

Solomonovsky is a painter, and Landy frequently lapses into floweriness when showing him at work. Although I suspect this was done in order to convince the reader of Solomonovsky’s genius, it had quite the opposite effect on me: I found Solomonovsky a tiresome, boorish character. I didn’t like him at all: he's arrogant, manipulative and sexually predatory, without a shred of kindness to redeem himself with and no, I don't for a moment buy into the stereotype that creative people are allowed to be so very oafish: arsey behaviour is unacceptable no matter how you earn your living. And because of that, I simply do not believe that the women who encounter him would behave the way that they do: they all adore him no matter how rudely and disreputably he behaves, and no reason is given for his behaviour. At least, no plausible one.

At one point a prim and respectable married woman, who is so emotionally buttoned up that even her husband has never seen her naked, is asked by Solomonovsky to pose naked for him.
She finds the idea, and Solomonovsky, appealing (god knows why: he is unrelentingly self-centred and rude) and although she hesitates, when he shows her his painting of one of her friends, who is equally repressed and absolutely starkers, she is persuaded:

“Lilian Bookbinder. When I look at her, displaying her nakedness, I know what she is thinking. I have been allowed to see deep into the soul of another human being. He has done that. He has made me read the expression on her face and now I know her better than anyone does, I understand her the way Solomonovsky understands her.”

I would have thought a more reasonable reaction for her would be to be horrified at the idea of him showing a painting of her own naked self to all and sundry: but no, not only does she find the whole thing somehow enlightening, she agrees to allow her sixteen-year-old daughter, who she chaperones everywhere, to also pose for Solomonovsky alone despite it being obvious that the bloke is going to come on to the daughter too.

This could have made for a powerful story if it had been made more believable: I'm sure that could have been done if the writer had given his characters a little more depth, provided them with some plausible motivation, and explored their internal conflict with more thought and care. As it is, I just didn't buy it and my reading ground to a halt as a result.

I read to page forty-five and despite Landy's unusually fluent and articulate prose, find myself relieved to be done with this one.

Oh, Look: A Retweet Button On The Self-Publishing Review!

2010-02-22T10:32:00.003Z

I've added "tweet this" buttons to my reviews here, and a separate one over at the side of the blog which will allow people to tweet links to the whole blog, rather than to specific posts here.

I've had "tweet this" buttons on my main blog for some time now, but resisted adding them here as I'm well aware that many of the writers I feature here find my reviews rather difficult to cope with: I didn't want them feeling that I was turning them into some sort of freak-show. However, many people (including some of the writers who have been subject to my reviews) have encouraged me to add the buttons here and so, after much careful thought, that's what I've done.

They might not be a permanent feature. I'm going to monitor how they're used for a while and, if I feel that retweets are being used to humiliate or poke fun at the writers who have been brave enough to submit to me, then I'll take them off. I welcome your comments about this either here or on Twitter where I have the user-name "hprw" (for some reason Blogger won't let me put the "at" sign in front of that, but if you click the link you should find me) and I hope that this turns out to be a positive thing.

Ghost Notes: Art Edwards

2010-02-18T10:00:00.000Z

Ghost Notes is a worthy contribution to the pantheon of rock novels. This is a savvy, sharp, insider's view of the rise and fall of a band and what can be lost and found along the way.
-Mark Lindquist, author of Never Mind Nirvana and The King of Methlehem

Engrossing, real, and well-written... the characters are reliable and honest.
-Laurie Notaro, author of There’s a (slight) Chance I Might Be Going to Hell: A Novel of Sewer Pipes, Pageant Queens, and Big Trouble

Ghost Notes is the Almost Famous for the minor leaguers of rock 'n' roll. I read it straight through and loved it.
-Curtis Grippe, Arizona Republic/Dead Hot Workshop

A bass player ready to jump ship from his mega-band, a drifter who hasn't seen his son for twenty years, a sixteen-year-old high school dropout who is going to rock the world come hell or high water, what melodies will pour forth from these rock 'n' roll hearts?

Art Edwards, co-founder and former bass player of the Refreshments, has published two novels, Ghost Notes and Stuck outside of Phoenix, and has released one solo album, Songs from Memory. To learn more about art, visit www.ArtEdwards.com.

When I was a junior editor one of my duties was to deal with the slush-pile. It was a miserable thing to do, with the bulk of the work it contained far too bad to be publishable; too bad to even be interesting. I'd sit there reading through each submission hoping, every time, that I'd find something good. Something sparky, well-written, original, exciting: but I never did. I had a few near-misses; there were a few submissions which made me hold my breath, just for a moment; which made me think, perhaps—but almost every time the writing would stumble, the direction would change, and into the rejection-pile it would go.

The few times I found a book with real potential—with writing which caught my attention and a premise that made me sit back and smile—I'd feel an odd moment of stillness and silence, a hesitation in time. I'd hear a voice saying, "there—you didn't expect that, did you?" It didn't happen often but when it did, it was magical.

I had one of those magical moments when I read Art Edwards’ book, Ghost Notes.

It's the story of Hote, a troubled bass player with Fun Yung Moon, a touring rock band with a fading reputation. When Hote abandons Fun Yung Moon in the middle of a tour he encounters Pippy, who has dropped out of high school to be a musician.

There is a poignancy to Art's writing which gives his book a rare authenticity. I believed everything he wrote, even the chapter from a drummer in rock and roll heaven who addressed us while reclining on a cloud. I found his sparse, gritty prose quietly lyrical: Art Edwards has a real writerly talent.

My only quibble lies with the multiple viewpoints we encounter through Art's book. While all of his characters are beautifully drawn and fully motivated, their voices do not differ from each other sufficiently to make it clear who is speaking in new each chapter and, as the book is written from a first person point of view throughout, this is particularly troublesome. Had I been editing this book for Art this is the one area I would have advised him to work hard on: resolving this problem would have eliminated the confusion I sometimes felt as I read through the book and it would have enhanced and improved the texture of his multi-layered narrative, giving his already-good book much more depth and scope.

There were a few typos (including that run-on sentence in his back cover copy, quoted above—if you read this, Art, fix it, please!) but they were just about invisible to me because of the quality of Art’s writing. I loved every page of this book despite its flaws, and will be buying his other novel, Stuck Outside of Phoenix, and perhaps his music too. As writers go, he's the real thing and this book is a lovely, memorable read.

Lines of Neutrality: SB Jung

2010-01-21T10:00:00.001Z

FICTION/THRILLERS

Lines of Neutrality is a window into the lives of two modern-day assassins—Raven Yin and Christian Delacroix. Unbeknownst to either of them, they are both hired to kill the same mark and coincidentally choose the exact same night and time to strike. This begins a chain of events that brings Raven and Christian together to fight a war far larger and more complex than either of them could have imagined. It is a war being waged against secret societies whose agendas are more enigmatic than their rumoured existence.

Their personalities and methods are fundamentally different, yet each of them discovers more about themselves by studying the other. Despite secret societies, internal betrayal, stolen memories and personal battles, Raven and Christian defy the odds to show that the Society of Assassins is nobody's pawn.

S. B. Jung has been an English teacher since 2002. She has been writing plays, poems, and novels since 1997; Lines of Neutrality is her first published work. Her husband Matthew and son Aiden have been her strength, encouragement, and inspiration as she continues to write and create more worlds for readers to enter and enjoy.

SB Jung is a writer with real promise and Lines of Neutrality: Book One of the Assassin Chronicles has an interesting premise. Her text is lovely and clean, her grammar is pretty much spot-on, and I found that the pages of this book turned with a very pleasing swiftness: but despite all that, only read as far as page seventeen.

The problems I found were, for the most part, small and easy to correct: for example, the appendix is the first thing I found after the dedication page but the information it provides is confusing when presented here—it would have been much better placed at the back of the book; the cover design is unprofessional, and not terribly attractive; and the text on that front cover is blurry, slightly out of focus, and is in a font which really isn't clear enough. The copy on the back cover needs attention too: it's a little confused, a little cliched, and in places doesn't quite make sense.

Moving on to the main text, then, I found a few quibbles which a decent edit would almost certainly resolve: there were some contradictions and lapses of logic which caused me to pause and rethink, and so spoilt the flow as I read. But the biggest problem that I had was that while this text is far more fluent and absorbing than most of the books I've reviewed here, it is still quite clearly the work of a novice writer—a talented and potentially very capable one, but still a novice.

I'd like to see what Ms Jung's writing becomes when she's written, and read, a great deal more. I have the feeling she could turn out to be competent and productive, and that in the years to come she might well produce books which are far superior to this good-but-flawed beginner’s effort.

The Genius of the Metropolis: Ronnie Lee

2010-01-14T10:00:00.000Z

Philosophy & Social Aspects

WHEN THE MATERIAL WORLD ENCOUNTERS THE SPIRITUAL REALM

This book is meant to show you,
Some connections between money,
Politics, economics and business,
To spirituality, morality and philosophy.

Much theory has been understood,
Regarding monetary policy,
But this book is meant to just remind us,
How this material World,
Interacts with our spiritual,
And moral compass...

The Genius of the Metropolis: Spiritual Economics and General Philosophy is the fifth volume of philosophy and poetry written by well-renowned author Ronnie Ka Ching Lee. In this latest work, Lee takes a holistic approach to the study of economics, approaching it with the heart of a poet in order to better understand the true nature of business. The Genius of the Metropolis analyses good and evil, social problems, duty, and work, and offers the reader ways to adapt and win at what he calls "the metropolitan life."

Lee has lived and studied in the United Kingdom, and now dwells in Hong Kong. His previous works for Outskirts Press include The Book of Life, the Meaning of Life, The Philosophy of Life, and Poems of Life: Inspirational Knowledge for Life.

There's a good reason why few commercial publishers publish poetry: even the best collections sell in very small numbers and just aren't commercially viable. Mr. Lee would have done well to consider that before publishing The Genius of the Metropolis: Spiritual Economics and General Philosophy: not only is it a collection of poems, it's a big book; it runs to 638 pages and weighs over two pounds.

I am not convinced that poetry—which is a traditionally unpopular form, much as I love it—is the best form for Lee to use to reveal the complexities of his own very personal philosophy of how economics and spirituality intertwine. Despite poetry's brevity and apparent simplicity it's a very difficult form to get right. It requires really stringent revision and editing, and depends on a clarity and depth of meaning which is completely lacking from Mr. Lee's work.

The poems in this book are full of unnecessary repetition, their meanings are rarely clear, and the author’s logic is often completely out of kilter with the real world. On several occasions I found myself having to stop and re-read in an attempt to unravel the meanings behind Mr. Lee's completed prose, and more than once I failed completely on that front.

This book would gain a lot by being edited strongly and cut by at least half; and if the author would learn about logic and fallacy before attempting those tasks, he would do himself, and his future readers, a great favour. I read just five pages, I'm afraid.

The Deadline Murders: Ron Morgans

2010-01-07T10:00:00.000Z

HENRIETTA FOX is a paparazzo. A wild, flame-haired girl in biker's boots and leathers with an Irish temper. She rides a Yamaha on the streets of London stalking celebrities for the tabloid gossip pages. When a Chinese military plane explodes in a fireball before her camera, life for Henrietta Fox gets dangerous!

Five reporters across Europe have been murdered, each with their exotic, lop-eared Sumxu cats. Animals considered extinct for 300 years. Only Henrietta Fox knows why - and that knowledge could kill her. To survive she must pursue a madman across China with partner CASS FARRADAY, a six foot three ex-Repton public schoolboy turned tabloid reporter.

Only they can prevent an Armageddon assault on Britain's Air Traffic Control. Fail and half a million lives will be lost.

http://www.ronmorgans.com/

Some self-published books are dreadful; a few are fabulous; and a few come so very close to being really good that I want to grab their authors by the lapels and shout words like "typesetting!" at them, as loudly as I can.

If Ron Morgans lived near me, he'd be getting the shouty treatment right now.

With The Deadline Murders Mr Morgans has written an engaging, competent murder mystery which I thoroughly enjoyed: but he's let his book down by allowing some very basic errors to scatter themselves all over its pages. He's used hyphens where dashes should appear; I spotted a few extraneous commas; and his page numbering is all over the place: his front matter pages are numbered 1 to 8 and then begin all over again with page 1 when his story starts (it’s convention to use a different numbering style for front matter if you want it numbered separately from the main text otherwise you end up with more than one page 4, which is confusing and can cause problems when referencing the text); and on a personal note, I found the paragraph indents far too deep. These are problems which a good copy editor—or even a good typesetter—could have fixed for him, and it's a shame to see them on the pages of this otherwise competent book.

Such problems are minor, though, and as ever, my main focus is on the writing. I have a few issues with some of the grammar (for example, in the back cover copy quoted above it is implied that Henrietta's leathers have an Irish temper); and there were a few problems with the text which only Mr. Morgans can fix: I realise that this is a thriller, and not a literary novel: I expect it to rely on the standards of the thriller genre. But in this novel some of those standards have been over-used to the point where they've become stereotyped. The two main characters were stereotypical in both their characterisation and their differences to one another: Henrietta Fox is a biker-girl photographer with red hair and a temper; Cass Farraday is ex-public school and wears suits from Saville Row. While they’re lively as characters go, I wanted them both to have more depth and subtlety and I think that a writer of Mr Morgans’ talent could have achieved this without too much trouble, even allowing for the limitations posed by the genre’s conventions. As it is, the interplay between his two main characters at times strays into Gene Hunt's territory: on several occasions I felt like I was visiting the provincial 1980s (which was my favourite decade, though, so no great hardship there). Despite these little niggles it’s obvious to me that Ron Morgans is a capable, confident writer who, with a little more guidance and revision, could have brought this book up to a significantly higher standard.

I'll happily admit that my genre-of-choice is literary fiction, which isn't what Ron has written here: but I'm not trying to drag him over to the literary dark side. I just get the feeling that while this book is good, he is capable of much more. He has sailed through some of the things that others find most difficult—finishing a whole novel, creating distinct and lively characters, and constructing a plausible world for them to live in—who hasn’t done quite so well with the easier stuff. I think that Ron Morgans is a writer to watch who, with persistence and dedication, might well go on to bigger things, and I’m thrilled to have been sent a self-published book which shows such potential. By the time I reached page twenty-seven I had abandoned my scorecard: I read The Deadline Murders right through to the end and I'm pleased to be able to recommend it to you, albeit with just a few very minor reservations.

Edited to add: my good friend Sally Zigmond has also reviewed this book, and you can read her opinion of it here.

Until The Deep Water Stills: An Internet-Enhanced Novel, by Michael Robert Dyet

2009-12-03T10:00:00.000Z

For Katherine Orr the words "I love you" are not enough. Only a demonstrative expression of her husband Jayce's love can rescue their relationship. But Jayce's personal demons prevent him from giving her this even though he knows that she is all that stands between him and a descent into chaos.

Simultaneously, Bryan struggles to repair the breach of love in his life caused by the death of his daughter. But his wife Jayce's sister, grows ever more distant. Charismatic social activist Faith, who longs for love but fears she will lose herself in it, unwittingly becomes the catalyst for change in the lives of all four characters.

The paths of these four converge toward a tragic event as each struggles to decipher the intricacies of love lost and love found. Each discovers in their own way that love is the living core of human existence and that how we love defines who we are.

Visit www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog after each chapter for another dimension of this internet-enhanced novel.

Michael Dyet holds an Honours B.A., summa cum laude, in Creative Writing from York University. His professional writing experience spans journalism to marketing copywriting. Until the Deep Water Stills, his debut novel, weaves together memorable characters with a tightening web of external events. It ranges from lyrical to provocative in its style and from introspective to universal in its message.

Michael Dyet, the author of Until the Deep Water Stills, has an impressive list of qualifications and experience which I hoped would be reflected in his writing: he has a BA in creative writing, and has experience in journalism and copywriting. And he's tied this novel to a website to add a further level of meaning to his text, which has the potential to be interesting.

The problem is that when I read a book I don't want to have to keep referring back to the internet to get the full story. I want a book to be self-contained and complete: its own little world, into which I can disappear. Clicking about on the internet will drag me out of that world: it's a distraction, and one which I found only detracted from my experience of this book.

And what an experience it was... the book is horribly over-written. Here is its first paragraph:

Shattering glass rescued Katherine from her dream. Aftershocks mingled in her half-awake brain with the elusive church bells now retracted seven years into the past. Jayce's arm had knocked a water glass of the night table as he shifted in bed. How strangely prophetic, she thought, that he should fall into complicity with her dream. He did not hear the crash just as he did not hear the bells in her dream.

This sort of overwriting is neither literary nor clever: it's just overdone (and bear in mind here that literary fiction is my genre-of-choice: I am not unaware of its conventions or standards). Dyet's writing is far too complicated, and he often favours that complication over clarity and meaning. The text is thick with clever-sounding phrases, many of which make little sense; and I found a lot of clichés buried in his overdone language.

The back-cover copy is predictably weak; the punctuation clean enough, although I did pick up a few problems with it as I read. But overall, this book fails because it is so very badly over-written. I read just three of its three hundred and ten pages, but it felt more like fifteen.

File Under Fiction, by Martin Locock

2009-11-26T10:00:00.000Z

File Under Fiction is a debut collection of short stories by Martin Locock.

In Change and Decay, an archivist's visit to a crumbling gentry estate reveals a history of sharp practice and opportunism belying the elegant exterior, and he becomes embroiled in their current intrigues.

Exchange Mechanism is a science fiction story exploring what would happen if we could see inside other people's minds.

Candle on the Table follows a frustrated solicitor's obsession with a perfect family, unaware that it conceals dark secrets.

The world of a maverick PR man and the Toronto Mafia collide in The Gift of the Gab.

In The Time Zone Rule, two colleagues are sent at short notice to Morocco; they find the romance of the situation irresistible, but one night's folly changes their lives for ever.

All the stories explore moral issues within a framework of spare narration and realistic characterisation, overlain by sardonic humour and elegance of expression. They have been described as "funny, accurate and deeply cynical."

Martin Locock is an author and poet who works as a project manager at the National library of Wales. Previously he had worked in commercial archaeology, publishing extensively on a range of obscure topics. He was born in 1962 and has lived near Swansea since 1991. He is married with three children. He writes a blog, A Few Words (http://locock.blogspot.com).

I have a small emotional attachment to this book: its author lives in the same Welsh town where my grandfather was born and foolishly this gave me hope that the book would be good. Sadly, I was disappointed.

I did appreciate the errata which the author provided which read, "Corrections. A battle of wills between author and a subversive spellcheck program has led to the replacement of some words with ‘emoraliz’.” Sadly the errata is not quite extensive enough: both ‘emoraliz’ and ‘emoralized’ make appearances, accompanied by those little empty squares which appear in various computer programs when a special character is saved in a format which the program doesn't support: a good edit would easily have found this problem; its appearance implies problems with the person who typeset the book rather than a rampaging spellchecker; and as this book was printed via Lulu (which is exclusively POD) there was almost certainly no print run of defective books: the author felt that these books were good enough to go out with this error in place. And on that point, I strongly disagree.

The punctuation was erratic, particularly the use of dashes (hyphens are often used where dashes are required, with odd and inconsistent spacing around them); a couple of punctuation marks escaped from the quote-marks which should have enclosed them; and there were a good few surplus commas scattered throughout the text.

The writing provided me with the biggest disappointment: it was flat and dull and unengaging and no more than the barest attempt was made to catalogue the events presented. The characters had no life; the events were dull; there was no depth to the work, and no texture, apart from a couple of places where the author's voice, and opinions, intruded. And there, too, was a problem: I couldn't agree with the opinions he voiced, and they were presented in jargon-cluttered language which made them difficult to decipher.

On top of all of that there were issues with the grammar too. I read just nine out of a total of 187 printed pages and hope that this writer polishes his work much more thoroughly before he considers publishing anything else.

(This book doesn't appear to be listed on Amazon so I'm unable to include a cover image or a link to its sale page.)

As They Grow Older, by SM Cashmore

2009-11-19T10:00:00.000Z

Witch Street is paved with stories for children. Strange stories. Spooky stories. Halloween stories.

This collection, AS THEY GROW OLDER, has a life of its own. Starting with The Toyman and The Grumpy Browns to fascinate the very young, the stories themselves grow older, stranger and spookier, until the almost adult Last and Longest Story at the very end.

AS THEY GROW OLDER should be read with the lights dimmed, read aloud at Halloween. It doesn't matter how old your children are, there is a spooky story in this collection written especially for them to listen to.....

If they dare.

This collection of short, spooky stories is cleaner than most, with a mercifully-low error-count. The writer has a fluent, if rather naive style; and he has a good grasp of grammar, too. These things count strongly in his favour and were I reading this as a slush-pile submission rather than a published book, those good points would mean that he was automatically in the top ten per cent of the work before me.

He would still receive a rejection, though. His tone is at times a little patronising and while that might have worked a few decades ago it's no longer acceptable in children's fiction; and his stories, while perfectly pleasant, are neither convincing nor compelling. The story Nearly Nine describes a monster which lives in the narrow space behind the wardrobe: consequently, it's shaped like a bath mat (and I quite liked that idea). The bath mat monster ripples across the bedroom floor one night, creeps up onto the bed where a child lies sleeping and—here's the punchline—wishes him a happy birthday. And that's the end of the story. This could have been done so much better: had the monster approached the child a few times but been thwarted, and had the reader had known that the monster felt the time was running out, the reader would have wondered why it wanted to reach the boy and there would have been some real tension to the story. As it is, we have some funny description of the monster, a brief moment of tension—and then it's over, and nothing much has happened.

I'd advise this writer to work more on the structure of his stories, to consider developing their narrative arcs a little more fully, and to update his tone just a little. I read a respectable forty-nine pages out of a total of 369, and feel that this writer has plenty of unrealised potential.

The Bouncing Boy, by Ilia

2009-11-12T10:00:00.000Z

The bouncing boy lives a life of ridicule and misfortune until one day his help was needed to save his village from a stinking problem. An exciting adventure ensues with the bouncing boy and an unlikely comrade, an elder from the village. Will this duo survive the trip to find the solution to save the village?

The Bouncing Boy is an entertaining modern day fairy tale enjoyed by kids 1-100 years old.

This is a singularly unattractive book. The illustrations are off-putting, and very uneven: that awful cover illustration is repeated inside, not once but twice, and after that, the illustrations change entirely in both style and sophistication (I suspect that they are produced by photoshopping photographs, but can't be sure). The text clearly comes from a novice writer, and shows the usual mistakes: hyphens used instead of dashes, misplaced punctuation, odd capitalisations, occasional contradictions, errors in grammar, and a few sentences which made no sense at all. A lot of these problems could have been resolved by careful edit: but this writer would do better to work on becoming a better writer, and then write a better book. I read just three of its 54 pages.

Letters Never Mailed: 32 Years of Writing to Tom Waits, by Susan Borgeson

2009-11-05T10:00:00.004Z

Susan Borgeson's place among modern day existentialist writers is definitely at the front table. The evidence that remains is within the pages of this book---and what does remain after writing Tom Waits everyday for 32 years--with no response--is truly remarkable. A woman of letters is an understated description of a courageous individual that was stricken in her teens with mild schizophrenia and severe, bi-polar (manic-depression) disorder. Her individual struggle to overcome is a lesson for women of all ages, and for anyone with a mental handicap. These ‘ letters’ were all written around the turn of the 21st century. And, nearly 10 years later , still have a reflexive quality that transcends the psychologist’s case study. Borgeson's letters have remained fresh and give meaning to our shared and diverse humanity….Richard Collins, RedEye Publishing International

According to the foreword by Richard Collins, over a period of 32 years Susan Borgeson sent Tom Waits more than 5,000 letters (which works out to a new letter every two or three days), but didn't ever receive a single response. This book contains just nine unedited poems which she wrote over forty-two hours, illustrated with photographs of her original handwritten drafts.

I am concerned by the excessive nature of Miss Borgeson's behaviour, and by her history of mental illness, and so have decided that it would not be appropriate for me to give this book the review that it deserves. But if Richard Collins of RedEye Publishing International took even a single penny from Miss Borgeson to pay for her publication, he should be thoroughly ashamed of himself, regardless of her mental state.

Where Is She Now? by Frances Gilbert

2009-10-29T10:00:00.000Z

Rosemary wants only to feel the calm promised in the hymns of her childhood, she wants to ‘lay down her burden and enter in.’

Cradling her green pocket book wrapped in an old green shawl, she wanders through her daily life with her husband Brian, her traumatized self, and her alter ego, the bossy and competent Anna. Something has happened in the past, centering on her baby, but Rosemary can't quite remember what it was. And where is the baby now? As she oscillates between rational and delusional spells she seeks validation and support from the inanimate object around her, the cups on the shelf, the knobs on the bedposts, the books in the bookcase, and the houses lining the streets. In her conversations with them we see a Rosemary who is not quite as deranged as she seems, and Brian, not quite as supportive as he would like to have you believe.

The book is set in a fictional amalgam of two small English towns.

When I first received Frances Gilbert's Where Is She Now? I had very high hopes for it: it seemed much more accomplished than many of the other submissions that I've looked at. But in the end, a slew of punctuation problems and confusing constructions did for this book: I had found my fifteen errors before I reached the end of its second page.

Despite that, I continued reading to the end of page seven. I found plenty more problems and mistakes as I read on, but there was something rather lovely about the writing here which pulled me along with it. Gilbert's writing has a light and lyrical quality: there's a rhythm and poetry to her words which I found quite bewitching and (assuming, of course, that the plot is strong enough and well-constructed) if she had spent more time working on her grammar and punctuation I would have been able to give this book a very positive review indeed.

Outside The Lavender Closet, by Martha A Taylor

2009-10-22T10:00:00.001+01:00

Fiction

What is it that makes us straight or gay?
Is it environment or genetics?
Choice, chance or maybe even persuasion?

The answer to this age-old question is one that fledgling writer Margaret Allen sets out to discover as she endeavors to complete her first book. Taking on a subject she believes she knows well, she begins a very human odyssey, examining the lives of gay women, all of whom come from diverse backgrounds and mindsets.

Among those whom we meet are —

the florist, whose parents try to "cure" her of her homosexuality;
the twins who, separated at birth, live their lives at opposite ends of the economic spectrum;
the radiant redhead and her three failed marriages;
the poet who spent most of her young adult years as a nun;
the Kentucky woman who, as a new bride, makes a rather shocking discovery;
and the non-verbal, wheelchair-bound woman, who is a political activist with an extraordinary ability to communicate.

As we share in their deeply personal narratives, Margaret's book ultimately raises the question: "Are relationships between two women really all that different than heterosexual ones?"

Outside the Lavender Closet brings to life a collection of contemporary stories inspired by actual women and true events.

Martha A Taylor's Outside the Lavender Closet: Inspired by True Stories is affectionately-written and has an easy charm to it: I genuinely liked the narrator and her group of friends and I wanted the book to do well, but in the end it was let down by a series of careless errors which include all the usual suspects: punctuation, spelling, grammar, homophone substitution, cliché, and some rather odd logic.

That list of errors sounds much more damning than it should. There were lots of errors, and the text is often clumsy: in order to bring this book up to a publishable standard it needs to be completely rewritten, to sort out all the confusion and unbelievable dialogue; it needs a very strong edit to make it coherent and tight; and it needs a full copy-edit to clear away all those irritating errors. That's a lot of work, none of which would be worth doing on a text which was completely substandard: but I think it's worth doing here because despite all of its problems this one has a warmth and a character to it which most of the books I've reviewed here lack. It might well turn out to be a bit of a treasure if it were properly worked up. As it is, it's just not good enough, I'm afraid, and I read just three of its one hundred and forty-nine pages.

Romancing the Claddagh, by Ruby Dominguez

2009-10-15T10:00:00.003+01:00

Fiction Romance/Mystery Horror/Drama

The breathtaking mystery of the Irish Claddagh unraveled!

On a fire singed wall not so far away from the tragedy, a collage of photographs shaped the heartbreaking desperation of a city in search of missing love ones. A rescue recovery centre is deluged with a cascade of hundreds of Irish CLADDAGH rings uncovered from the collapsed World Trade Center at Ground Zero. The legend of the CLADDAGH'S origin entwines with romance of love tales, perilous adventures, mystery and royalty. A distinctively unique, timeless and honoured treasure of Irish heritage that is no stranger to love, tragedy and triumph. FOR IT WAS ONCE UPON A TIME, a sigil painted on an exclusive white sale of the Fisher King Ship marked with a crown, a pair of hands clasping the escutcheon of Nassau, evident of the crest of the royal house to which Liam, the King of CLADDAGH belongs, was recreated into a great spherical gold brooch to adorn the velvet lavender cloak of his future queen: Rowena, a descendant of ancient Ireland's fiery crimson-haired goddess Macha, who wreaked a terrible powerful curse upon the northern kings of Ireland's bloodline. An Irish phenomenon: its famous adage of "Let Love, Loyalty and Friendship Reign," still eloquently resonates to this day.

Ruby Dominguez, creatively inscribes a link between fantasy and reality, life and eternity, love and constancy; capturing the essence of her vision. She also penned, THE PERUKE MAKER - The Salem Witch Hunt Curse. Both are Fiction Romance/Mystery/or/Drama/Tragedy Screenplays of a CURSE TRILOGY. The Peruke Maker was professionally reviewed by LEJEN Literary Consultants and attained a Good Script Coverage/Analysis. "Visually compelling, provocative, suspenseful, memorable, smooth pace with excellent twists and turns. By LEE LEVINSON

Ruby Dominguez is a brave woman: she is only the second person to have sent me more than one book to review. Her first book, The Peruke Maker: The Salem Witch Hunt Curse, had little to recommend it; and Romancing the Claddagh: The Curse of Macha, her second, is probably even worse.

I shan't comment in detail about the back cover copy which is quoted in full above: it stands for itself. It's jumbled, confusing, and tells me nothing about the book which would encourage me to buy it. The jacket design is a disaster: it's strangely off-putting, and I wonder if that the girl in the image really is old enough to pose naked (and assuming she is, why does she look quite so sweaty?). I'd have preferred a more legible font for the title, too.

The book gets no better inside. It begins with a prologue which is just as confusing as the back cover copy:

Prologue

Guardedly, I listened to the echoes of my heart, yet fervently chased it down the deep recessions of a dark sacred chamber, where unspoken intimate emotions of agony and ecstasy come to surface.

Like a goldsmith, I creatively hammer down a precious link between fantasy and reality, life and eternity, love and constancy.

Herein pressed between the pages is the essence of my vision.

That's on page i; then on the next page we have a single paragraph (which is repeated in full a few pages later, in a different context) with the title Time Period, which reads:

A rescue recovery centre is deluged with a cascade of HUNDREDS of Irish CLADDAGH RINGS recovered from the collapsed World Trade Center, at ground Zero.

Is this part of the setup information or has the screenplay begun? Despite it reading like a scene description, I have to assume that it is part of the setup, because the pages which follow contain character lists and locations. Page numbering then begins again, and we have a montage set before us which includes the following quotes:

An unforgettable stark landscape of inferno, pandemonium and death is broadcasted on TELEVISION and RADIOS across a horrified nation and to the shocked world.

ASH-MOLTEN ROADS are creased with GRIEF-STRICKEN FACES, engulfed with sorrowful CRIES of the CLADDAGH ring as a frame of reference to help find and identify love ones.

On this page alone I found fourteen mistakes. I already had more than enough to base this review upon, but something compelled me to read on. The screenplay continues to page five; then on page six we have this:

V

Time Period

CLADDAGH VILLAGE 17TH CENTURY

Fishermen leave the safety of the stony shores, love of family and comfort of home to set out to sea to make a living, in spite of the danger of abduction by seafaring pirates and treacherous weather.

Hence, to live in Claddagh is to be a fisherman, or starve.

Or to be abducted by treacherous weather, perhaps.

Some of you might notice that the conclusion there does not follow on from the paragraph which precedes it; so this is a fallacious argument. It's not part of the action of the screenplay so what's it doing here? And why is it followed by a list of characters and locations? We have five more pages of such setup before the screenplay begins again.

I'll admit: I've read on through this, to try to make sense of it: but I failed. It's jumbled, confusing, and at times cringingly badly written. All of the segments I've read show a sentimental affection for a non-existent, stereotypical, Hollywood kind of Irish; and what little I've read of the historical sections are very ill-informed. In addition, stage directions are used to fill in the plot’s back story and background: it's bad enough encountering information dumps on the page, but how is this information meant to be conveyed to the audience if this play is ever performed?

I'm very concerned that the Lejen Literary Consultancy has told Ms Dominguez that this book shows promise, because in its current form, it isn't good at all. Based on its judgement of this book, I strongly urge all writers to avoid the Lejen Literary Consultancy and if you're still not convinced, read this thread at Absolute Write. I read four pages out of a possible 130 and if I'd observed my "fifteen strikes and you're out" rule strictly I would have not read even that far.

A Different Kind of Sentinel, by Sir E. J. Drury II

2009-10-08T10:00:00.001+01:00

Personal Memoir

Having grown up in eastern Missouri, Sir E. J. entered the Navy after a brief stint at the US Naval Academy. For two long years did he struggle, in and out of sleep, with the true enemy of mankind --- the Beast. And for the past twenty has he struggled to give form to this book, that you, the reader, might decide to join the fray and save humanity from its self and the destructive side of its animal nature.

A TREK THROUGH THE DARK SIDE IN SEARCH OF SOUL AND THE MEANING OF LIFE

"...a truly remarkable memoir that is as much about the author as it is about the soul and their eventual reunion..."

"Haven't you heard? The Beast has been unleashed."
"What beast?" you ask.
"Why that part of Nature which still defies Consciousness."
"I don't understand," you exclaim.
"You will by the time you finish reading this story. Trust me."
"Why should I?" You inquire.
"You have your soul to free and heaven to gain, and little time for either."

"Once I started reading the book, I couldn't put it down until I'd finished it. You go where no one has ever dared. And for that you are to be commended." David Stewart, Stewart Publishing

"It may very well go on to become the book of the century, or for that matter, the book of the millennium." Harold Terbrock, Retired Carpenter

Sir E. J. Drury II (who is credited as the author of this book) has a pretty good grasp of punctuation overall, although he uses far too many commas which has the effect of stopping the flow of his words and giving his whole text a choppy, staccato beat. And this over-use of commas is part of a much larger problem: the style that this writer favours.

He habitually inverts his sentences and uses a dated and particular vocabulary. These two stylistic quirks combine to give his writing a dialect-like air, and the closest I can get to describing the origins of that dialect is to suggest that it's a sort of pidgin-Biblical. It's nowhere near as rich, textural or magnificent as the text of the King James version, though, and rather than accentuating and emphasising Drury's text, these linguistic quirks of his only serve to knock his many writerly failures into sharper focus.

Drury's uncomfortable style, his frequent and perplexing changes of tense, the many nonsensical sentences that I found, and his insistence on recounting great swathes of his own dreams within the text, meant that I read just five of this book's two hundred and eighty six pages. Sadly, this is another self-published book which fails to please.

The 7 Gifts that came to earth, by John Mellor

2009-10-01T10:00:00.002+01:00

Seven precious gifts bestowed on the Earth but not revealed
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A young boy is charged with finding them

"One of those unique and wonderful manuscripts that come one's way all too rarely"

"A most unusual and beautiful story that lingers in the mind long after one has read it"
~ ~ Senior Editor at a major UK Publisher

The singer emerged, and his music raged across the land, a wild, swirling cloud of chords laying waste like locusts to all that was soulless before it ..

I come not to bring peace, he said

This story may be freely read on-line. But if you buy the book it will please my wife and impress my friends. Maybe yours too if you gift it to them. And you can read it in bed

For any freethinking, enquiring mind over 12
—John Mellor

I'm not a big fan of spiritual or inspirational fiction: I find it predictable, cheesy and often quite cringe-making. So I'm not the best person to review this book, which is rooted firmly in those genres.

Despite my reservations, that hideous big "7" on the cover, and the truly horrible fonts in which this text has been set (authors: if you're considering using fancy fonts in yourself-published book, please read this first), I thought that this little book was charming.

That doesn't mean it's perfect: no book is. Some of the storytelling was a little too forced and predictable from me (but that might well be down to the book's genre which, as I've already explained, isn't my favourite); the language used was a little formal and old-fashioned, which distanced me from the story and so stopped me becoming emotionally involved with it; and there were, of course, punctuation problems with it (for example, a couple of instances where a full-stop had managed to slip outside a quote-mark which should have contained it, and a dash used where a hyphen was required). There were a few lapses in meaning, to: for example, on page 21 we are told,

The specially-made gown — designed by the greatest couturier in the kingdom, assembled by a hundred hand-picked seamstresses from the finest silk of faraway lands — was cheap.

While the dress might have looked cheap I doubt that it really was, and little lapses like that don't help when you're telling a story which has a deeper meaning at its core: if you can't get the top layer right, how can the reader trust the rest?

Overall, then, this is an easy read and it's brief, too, coming in at just 167 pages. It had has shades of Jonathan Livingston Seagull to its tone; I much preferred it to The Shack, which I found trite and unauthentic; and despite its flaws and those dreadful fonts, The 7 Gifts is readable and engaging.

Despite my reservations I enjoyed what I read of the book (I reached page 51), and will almost certainly read more. A good little book, and well worth considering if you're looking for some reading in this particular genre.

A Voyage beyond Reason, by Tom Gauthier

2009-09-24T10:00:00.000+01:00

He Dared to Dream an Impossible Dream.

He Risked Body and Soul to Make it Real.

on

"A VOYAGE BEYOND REASON"

On September 13, 1996, twenty four year old Benjamin Wade set out on a solo voyage in a tiny sea kayak. As he pushed off from the shores of San Felipe, his goal lay 6,000 miles away – and deep within his own soul. The chance discovery of his journals, buried on a Colombian cliff above the sea, uncovered a mystery which took many years to finally solve. His journals tell of misery and elation, of triumph and failure, of insight and insanity. Follow the events which will forge his character, and follow the mind of a young man set on achieving a dream that no amount of misfortune can dissuade him from reaching...on a journey that challenges his survival, and brings him face to face with himself.

Tom Gauthier weaves the word pictures and intimate thoughts of Benjamin Wade into a gripping story of the struggle for survival and the reshaping of a young life in a way that few of us could imagine.

As with so many of the books I've reviewed here, Tom Gauthier's A Voyage Beyond Reason: An Epic of Survival Based on the Original Journals of Benjamin Wade is let down by the writing, which is often overdone and frequently relies on clever tricks rather than on good writing to make the author’s point. I found inconsistencies in the tense used; an intrusive amount of passive voice; a couple of contradictions in the text, and homophone substitutions; there were several missing hyphens and the author would do well to cut his comma-use by half. But what irritated me most was the significance with which Benjamin Wade's name was used in the early parts of the text: this implied that I should know who he was, but no information about him was given to support that implication.

Despite that, this is one of the better books I've looked at here. With a strong edit it could be vastly improved and it has real potential to make a fascinating read if that is done: but as it is, I found my fifteen mistakes within its first seven pages. A shame.

The Peruke Maker, by Ruby Dominguez

2009-09-17T10:00:00.004+01:00

Fiction/Romance/Mystery/Horror/Drama/History

Salem 17th century — a bizarre and deadly detour in history!

The witch hunt hits feverish peak! Fear of the devil is as real as God. Witchcraft is a heinous crime a person could commit and is punishable by death at Gallows Hill for the victims accused of sorcery.

River reflections of Bridget's scantily clad youthful beauty with long, wild, flowing, red hair, is frozen in fear amidst the overture of the Banshee’s foreboding and bloodcurdling wails of imminent death, that of her own.

THE PERUKE MAKER'S vengeful curse hastens chase for the innocent and is carried off by a whirl of ill-omened wind that transgresses all natural laws of time and space.

The Salem Witch Hunt Curse unearthed from necromancy, violates the course of natural events in a modern day world, relentlessly in quest for the avenger of innocent blood.

Sarah, a product of the 21st Century is inextricably caught in a fateful journey that comes full circle. But Michael's abiding love for her triumphs over evil, transcending the grave in a magical and symbolic act of rebirth at the stroke of midnight of the Autumnal Equinox.

The Author, Ruby Dominguez is challenged by the conflicting complexities of the past and future. Undeterred, she strokes with pen the somber and bright hues of her visions.

A screenplay THE PERUKE MAKER was professionally reviewed by Lejen Literary Consultants and has attained a GOOD SCRIPT COVERAGE ANALYSIS.

"Visually compelling, provocative, suspenseful, memorable characters, smooth pace with excellent twists and turns!" — By Lee Levinson

A Curse Trilogy, she also penned screenplays:
• ROMANCING THE CLADDAGH — The Curse of Macha —
• THE RED DRAGON'S TRIANGLE — Boudicca's Curse — COMING SOON!

She also exhibits a nifty double play of romance and comedy in the screenplay, "IT'S OVER MICHAEL, BUT..."

As I don't have much experience in evaluating screenplays I showed The Peruke Maker: The Salem Witch Hunt Curse to a screenwriting friend of mine who has just a little expertise in the field: he's won a handful of BAFTAs and a couple of Emmys, and although he hasn't yet managed to grab himself an Oscar I'm sure it's only a matter of time. You're very likely to recognise his name if I give it: but he only agreed to comment on this book if I would allow him to do so anonymously. Here's what he had to say:

This is a confused and confusing script. The prologue makes no sense, and what is it there for? I don't think it's a part of the script — it doesn't seem to be spoken by a narrator, and that last paragraph is stunningly bad. The "time period" page makes no sense either. The lists of characters and locations don't work. Does the movie's action began on page 6? It's not made clear. Is the paragraph which begins "legend has it" spoken by narrator? It isn't attributed to any character, but it can't be a stage direction either as it contains backstory. Two pages of this confusion then on page 8 we find the first real dialogue, and it's awful: "I sense it behind me! It hinders my escape!" A lot of the dialogue doesn't make sense: "Thou not let the devil take your soul away from your body!" The writer doesn't seem to know what "thou" actually means.

The problem with scripts like this is that if the dialogue isn't believable then the script has no chance of working when it’s filmed, or played on stage. I flicked through it and it's consistently dull, confusing, and wooden. There's a torture scene in it which reads like particularly badly thought-out porn, and God knows most porn is pretty badly thought out to begin with. I wouldn't have looked any further than the cover were I not reading it as a favour for you, and can only suggest that if this writer is determined to continue writing, she either treats writing as a hobby or finds herself some good, professional tuition. Because this just isn't good enough if she wants to get anywhere at all in the professional field.

I read up to page six before I found my fifteen errors, and I agree with all my friend has written: this is a dreadful book which contains misused words, clichés, misspellings, and errors in formatting, layout, grammar and logic.

What I don’t understand is how the Lejen Literary Consultants could have honestly given Ms Dominguez's screenplay such a glowing reference. A little investigation led me to this thread on Absolute Write: based on the comments I read there, and the yawning gap between the Lejen Literary Consultants’ glowing praise and the reality of this book, I cannot recommend that anyone uses their services. And if you are in any doubt, and are considering paying the Lejen Literary consultants to evaluate your work, here is a direct quote from this book to give you an idea of what they consider good. I can't reproduce the exact formatting so you're denied that particular pleasure, but the text alone should be enough to give you an idea of what this is like.

INT. SALEM VILLAGE - JACOB'S BEDROOM – NIGHT

A naked young and enchanting lass by the name of BRIDGET CANE (SEVENTEEN), is with a married couple in bed, seemingly intoxicated.

They engage and indulge in forbidden lusty sexual desires and positions.

MOANS of pleasure reverberate the room.

MR. JACOB
(craving)
Hmmmm... Drops of pleasure between your mounds drive me wild!

BRIDGET
(teasingly TIPSY)
Such explicit bliss is hard to forget?

MRS. JACOB (EARLY THIRTIES)
(excitedly to husband)
Thy kiss is much sweeter and every thrust much harder since Bridget! I am encouraged by such performance! I crave for more!

MR. JACOB
(horny)
A feast fit for a king! Grasps my throbbing manhood as it gorges towards deep chasms of ecstasy!

I hope that makes it quite clear why I strongly suggest that writers avoid using the services of the Lejen Literary Consultancy, which praised this dreadful book.

Iman's Isle, by S. A. Davis

2009-09-10T10:00:00.003+01:00

Some treasures cannot be stolen, only lost. And if lost, may be impossible to recover.

Journey to an island paradise, the heavenly city of Casilda, and the hideous pit called Marheon and observe the creatures that dwell there and in between. Explore the struggle of good against evil, with humanity caught in the middle, and know that some unseen forces desire the destruction of humans, while others strive for their salvation.

S A Davis, the author of Iman's Isle - A Tale of Lost Treasures seems to be yet another self-published author who is determined to present his or her book as badly as possible. I can't be sure of Davis's gender, as he or she has omitted to include any information about the author in the book.

The back cover copy (reproduced in full above) is full of clichés and nonsensical statements. It gives me just one clue about the genre this book fits into: those odd place-names imply that this book's genre is probably fantasy or SF. But the back cover copy doesn't give me any idea of what this story is about, or why it should interest me: and so it fails in the task it has, which is to inform and intrigue the book’s potential readers.

The jacket illustration is another big problem (and before you protest that this blog is meant to review books, not criticise illustrations, despite the numerous issues I have with the illustration I've only counted it as one strike of the fifteen I allow each book). What is that big white thing? Some sort of fruit? Perhaps it's half a radish; but it appears to be bleeding where that creature’s claws are digging into it; and what's with the six hands, each with six fingers? Do they all belong to one animal? Or to three two-handed creatures? Or perhaps to two animals with three hands each? And while six fingers might come in handy for back-scratching if I were this creature I would willingly trade in half of them for a single opposable thumb. To make the worst of a bad illustration, part of the creature’s furry green tail has been cropped off over on the left-hand side. This surely wasn't done intentionally, but it makes the whole front cover look even more slapdash.

Inside the book things are little better. I found several inconsistencies in punctuation, some run-on sentences, and a few very confusing lapses in logic. The text was dull and rather confusing. The three men who appear in the opening scene all share exactly the same speech patterns: they all report their dreams in the present tense, but fall back to oddly-formal and rather archaic phrasing in past-tense for everything else; and this lack of characterisation makes it just about impossible to distinguish between them.

There was a paragraph on the very first page which was unintentionally stiff with double entendres, a large and unattributed quote facing the table of contents, and some nonsense about "revised versions" on the copyright page (either the book is a new edition or it's not): not surprising, then, that I read only two pages of this and will now never know what that creature on the cover was really meant to be. Somehow, that doesn't feel like a loss.

The Shipwreck Of A Nation: H Peter Nennhaus

2009-09-03T11:15:00.001+01:00

Early on the morning of September 3 1939, the British ambassador to Berlin delivered a letter to the German government which stated that unless the German government announced plans to withdraw its invasion force from Poland by 11am that day, Britan would declare war against Germany.

Germany ignored the British ultimatum and so, at 11.15 that morning, Neville Chamberlain, the British Prime Minister of the time, announced: "I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received and consequently this country is at war with Germany."

The French government presented a similar message to Berlin at 12.30, giving Germany until 17.00 to withdraw its troops from Poland. This was also ignored, and the French government also declared war against Germany.

In the six years of fighting which followed, thousands of soldiers and civilians died in the fighting: and over seven milllion people were exterminated in the German death-camps through starvation, torture and intentional neglect.

Those death-camps were run by people who believed in the German regime. And what they did cannot be excused by any reasonable human being.

History/Europe

THE MIND-SET OF THE GERMANS
AND OTHER SECRETS OF WORLD WAR II

This memoir portrays the attitudes of a nation caught in political crisis and devastating war. The author vividly recalls his youth in Berlin before and during WWII amidst political upheaval, love, hope, and terror. The reader witnesses the appalling tyranny of Stalin in the 1930s and learns of the Germans' conviction that they were waging a righteous and desperate struggle against the Soviet empire. The impact of this upsetting story derives from aspects of that war, which hitherto have remained unknown or been misconceived and which cast the moral equation of that conflict into a more sober light. The reader will walk in German shoes and experience the full range of their emotions, beliefs, and thoughts. The understanding of the mood then prevailing in Europe is aided by scholarly chapters of historical data that weave through the narrative of childhood, war, and ruin. In exploring the enduring mystery surrounding the root causes of the two world wars and Germany's final destruction, the author reaches thought-provoking conclusions.

For those seeking to know what in reality transpired in the German soul during that period, this is one of only few, unbiased sources available.

H. Peter Nennhaus grew up in Berlin during WW II and became an American citizen in 1961. He is a retired surgeon and lives outside Chicago. Among his various interests, the study of history, especially of the 20th century, has been an enduring focus.

Peter Nennhaus is a fluent writer and his text is relatively clean: I found few errors in this book compared to most of the others I've reviewed here, although his spelling does sometimes go awry (I found both "furor" in place of “furore” and “guaranty" when “guarantee” was required on page three and no, I'm sure that first one wasn't Freudian at all); and there were a few careless errors: the occasional misused word and some random capitalisations have also crept in (but as that latter problem could have its root in Nennhaus’s first language, I didn't include those errors in my tally).

In this book Nennhaus aims to present a new view of World War II, and of the German people during that period of history. He states in his back-cover copy that this book "is one of only few, unbiased sources available" and while I admire his confidence in making that statement, I have to question it: thousands of books and articles have been written about the war and Germany's role in it and while some are clearly biased, many more give a reasoned and dispassionate account of those horrific times. That Nennhaus apparently thinks otherwise reveals more about his own bias, I fear: and the more I read of this book, the more my fears were realised. Nennhaus suggests that it was Europe's jealousy of Germany's excellence which was the real cause of World War II; and he rationalises anti-Semitism in a way I find disturbing. I finished reading his book when I came across this little plum, in which Nennhaus suggests that we shouldn't judge too harshly the German leaders of the time:

Who could accurately guess how you or I would have acted, had we been seized by fury and obsession while possessing the executive force to give the frantic orders?

While I'll admit to having a bit of a temper and can remember having said a few pretty nasty things while in the grip of it, I can be pretty sure that no matter how powerful and angry I become I will never attempt to annexe several neighbouring countries through the use of force, nor will I order the debasement, torture and extermination of millions of people in the most vile ways imaginable.

Overall then, The Shipwreck of a Nation: Germany: An Inside View is very deceptive. It relies on fallacies and denial to sustain its central premise; and the author's fluency and persuasive tone cannot compensate for the ugliness of his opinions or beliefs (some of which might stem from his time spent fighting in the German army). I read twelve pages, and cannot recommend this book on any level.

Finding The Moon In Sugar

2009-08-27T10:00:00.002+01:00

In this tragicomedy, Gint Aras' hapless and marijuana-dazed narrator, Andrew Nowak, is seduced by a bomb-shell internet bride. The mysterious and wealthy Audra soon consumes the twenty year-old boy's imagination, a welcome distraction from his needy mother and sister. Wild and hilarious adventures await Andy in Lithuania when he sells his possessions to follow Audra abroad. But he soon finds himself trapped penniless in her world of illness, regret and sex. Stumbling backwards into a romance he never sees coming, Andy must deal with Audra's narcissism and grapple to understand her, a struggle that might just destroy him.

Gint Aras's book, Finding the Moon in Sugar, is so very nearly good. Its narrator, Andrew Nowak, speaks with a clear and original voice and reveals far more about his background and attitudes through his own misconceptions than is given on the page. The slangy, almost dialect-like writing style is easy to slip into; and the story moves forward at a pretty good pace.

It's let down by wooden and unconvincing characterisation (especially in the female characters), a few completely unbelievable scenes, and some jarring inconsistencies which throw the whole text out of focus. The sex scenes in particular are badly written and consequently lose the impact they should have; the writing style is inconsistent; and there are a few examples of exposition which really intrude. There were several instances where the characters accepted odd behaviour without question, or just didn't seem surprised when extraordinary things happened; and the text was littered with clichés. I read eighteen pages before giving up.

I would like to see this book edited thoroughly to get rid of all of those inconsistencies (why abbreviate "because" to "cauze" throughout, but abbreviate no other similar words?); the characterisation needs to be significantly improved; and that sex-scene on page five has to be completely rewritten and given a proper build-up because as it is, it’s excruciatingly embarrassing. A shame, as this writer shows real promise and I had hoped for so much more.

Ghost Notes

2009-08-21T11:23:00.004+01:00

I've been reading Ghost Notes by Art Edwards, in order to review it here.

I am thoroughly enjoying it: but wait; there's more! I'm on page 57 and so far have found only three minor issues and one slightly more worrying one (which the author should be able to easily work out). Art Edwards has a beautifully natural voice, full of feeling and depth; and Ghost Notes is a charming, witty book which is holding my attention beautifully. I'll review it here properly once I'm finished, but so far it looks like a winner.

Lord Of The Rams: The Greatest Story Never Told

2009-08-20T10:00:00.003+01:00

Finally, the greatest story never told gets told.

Join one man for the adventure of his life and, in doing so, experience growing up in rural 1980s Ireland. Meet this man's eccentric group of friends, follow his escapades throughout Ireland and beyond, and gain valuable insight into the life of a lord ... Lord of the Rams.

What Munterconnaught’s book critics are saying:

"A great present to give to somebody you don't like." - Shane Brady

"I'll buy two copies. F*cking brilliant." - Eugene Tighe

"The worst pile of shite I’ve ever read." - Trevor Geraghty

Ronan Smith's Lord of the Rams: The Greatest Story Never Told has an interesting illustration on its cover and it's a pleasant-enough read: but it's a very episodic, built from a series of short anecdotes which are connected only by the characters they feature. There is little flow through the text; instead we moved from anecdote to anecdote via chunks of exposition and this lack of narrative arc means that the reader has no motivation to keep reading: it's all too "samey" and provides no tension or climax.

The author has a slapdash approach to punctuation which doesn’t help: his use of dashes is spectacularly inconsistent, particularly in the acknowledgements; and he really needs to decide if he's going to hyphenate "smart-ass" or not, rather than alternate between the two forms. There were several instances where the writing was muddled and imprecise: I could usually work out what was meant, but sometimes could not be sure. On page nine, for example, I found this sentence: "Standing beside his mother, Rams stared in amazement at a woman unlike he had ever seen before". This is not good writing, and from my brief read and a quick flick through, it's typical of the entire book.

Overall, then, this read more as a first draft than as a publishable book. It needs restructuring to provide a proper sense of growth throughout the narrative; it needs to be rewritten so that the anecdotes seem less isolated and provide a sense of growth and climax. The characterisation could definitely be improved; and it needs a strong copy-edit to deal with all those careless mistakes. The clichéd subtitle does the book no favours; and the lamentably weak back cover copy could have been written for all sorts of books. I read just eight pages out of the 215 which make up the story.

Birth In Suburbia

2009-07-30T10:00:00.002+01:00

Drawing on her 18 years of midwifery experience, Falaki manages to craft a moving novel about three pregnant women, their relationships with each other, their friends and family, and their unborn children.

Birth in Suburbia is filled with information about pregnancy and labour, but the story drives the novel so well that it never feels like a data-laden textbook on pregnancy. Each pregnancy and labour is very different and well-described: a caesarean section, a natural home birth, and an uncomplicated hospital delivery in an alternative position.

Under Falaki’s careful pen, Birth in Suburbia plays out like a quick-witted, more mature episode of Sex and the City, except in this episode the characters are British ... and pregnant. With witty banter and emotional relationships, readers will find themselves quickly drawn into the story.

Expectant mothers may well find plenty of information on what to expect by reading this entertaining novel.

Birth in Suburbia is very close to good, but the huge number of careless errors it contains do not work in its favour.

Some paragraphs are indented while others are not; punctuation marks are often omitted; words are wrapped in quotation-marks for no apparent reason; and random capitalisations pepper the clumsy, cliché-ridden text.

It's a shame, as despite all the errors this book has real potential to engage. I have dipped into the text in several different places now and think it shows great promise: but because it needs such a thorough revision and a proper edit, I read just four pages before finding my fifteen problems. I wish I could have read further for this review.

Of Dreams And Realities

2009-07-23T10:00:00.003+01:00

Of Dreams and Realities is a splendid new collection of poems that proves insightful in its reach and elemental in its grasp. This collection is industrious and sly—a bit of hardworking magic in the everyday subtleties of life.

Frank Louis Johnson's poetry is ironic, charming, and sincere. It contextualizes dreams and realities against the broad canvas of reverie and aspiration. His is a veracious world, delightful, authentic and inspired—his poetry sees the glass half full, not half empty, with verses that rhyme and make merry no matter how dark the day or hour. Timeless in their scope, the poems of this, his second full-length collection, are pure inspiration.

I suspected that Of Dreams and Realities was going to be bad when I read the back cover copy: it's nebulous and full of hyperbole and while it does point out that the book is a collection of rhyming poetry, it tells the reader nothing else. Consequently, it fails in its purpose, which is to sell the book to potential readers.

And then I came to the poetry. I found random capitalisations, sloppy punctuation, and all sorts of inversions and clichés. Several of the rhymes didn't actually rhyme; and the concept of meter is abused in every way imaginable. I found my fifteenth problem with the text on the first line of page three (out of just thirty-nine pages) and if I do read any more of this book it will be due to my compulsive case of editorial voyeurism, and not because of my appreciation of the poetry it contains.

The Whittaker Family Reunion

2009-07-16T10:00:00.004+01:00

We were introduced to the Whittaker family in Of Dreams and Nightmares. The Whittaker Family Reunion takes readers back to 1881 and the family is reunited once again. Martha and Jeremy await the arrival of their two sons, Abraham from Mississippi and Ezekiel, from England. The third son Isaac lives near St. Louis And is anxious to see his brothers again. Daughter Anna is spoiled and nothing but trouble. Abraham arrives with a woman, much to the family's surprise. Ezekiel makes a narrow escape in England. Will the reunion be a happy one? Who will leave St Louis in disgrace? Will Martha get to spend time with her entire family before tragedy strikes? The reunion is shadowed by another man, one seeking revenge; will he get what he wants? Will he kill one or all of them?

Oh, dear.

The Whittaker Family Reunion has a clunky text which is confusing, and full of punctuation errors. There are a few issues with perception (pelicans flying across the sun do not “silhouette the sun", they are silhouetted against it); the grammar is sometimes very strangely skewed; and the dialogue from the non-white character is an embarrassing pastiche. I read just one page, I'm afraid.

Gambling For Good Mail

2009-07-09T10:00:00.001+01:00

Take a romp through contemporary Southern California culture—self-help groups, weird addictions, drive-in religion, romance novel contest, time-share sales, serial marriages, chiropractic manipulations, and stuffed pets—all shadowed by an unusual and tragic love story.

A Connecticut transplant in King Disney's Court, Felicia Wood gambles for good mail that comes from catalogue orders. She runs from memories and skims the surface of life, cluttering her home with bonus gifts. "Sometimes I think I should think," Felicia says, "But now is not the time," and she plunges in. So should you.

In Gambling for Good Mail, Evelyn Cole has written a book with real potential. But it has are several problems: there's a bitty feel to the text, and quite a few typos (including several missing closing quote-marks); but, judging by the portion that I read, the problems are nothing a strong line-edit couldn't fix and many could be resolved by a decent copy-editor.

The front cover is okay, but not great; I think that the title could be improved; the author photo isn't the best I've seen and the back cover copy is absolutely dire. But Felicia is a very engaging main character and the writer's warm and funny tone and make this book very accessible and easy to read. I've not read right to the end so it's quite possible that the plot falls to pieces along the way, or the tone fails at some point: but the writing is significantly better than competent and had it been polished some more, I think it would have had real potential for being taken on by a mainstream romance line. As it is, I read fifty-five pages out of four hundred and twenty-six, and thoroughly enjoyed them all.

Legs Talk

2009-07-02T10:00:00.004+01:00

Legs Talk

A hilarious illustrated account of a love/hate relationship. Legs Talk is a whimsical tale starring a witty pair of female legs. Chatty legs are depicted with attitude and swagger. Straight-shooting and in your face, these legs sure can kick. Take this play-ful ride on the bumpy road of romance. You'll be glad you did.

Remember how I don't review picture-books here? Well, this is a picture-book.

Legs Talk: A Modern Girl's Dating Tale should have delighted me: I love quirky, small-format books which take a new angle, as this one definitely does: but when a book has so little text there is no excuse for the clunkiness that is apparent here. The punctuation errors show up even more clearly; and there has to be a strong plot-line, which this book simply doesn't have.

It is unforgivable for so many of the photos (on which the whole book depends) to be out of focus.

This book is attempting to achieve what the delightful Love, Loss and What I Wore did: only it doesn't come close, and while it's attractive at first viewing it fails quite spectacularly to live up to its first impression. Because of its short length I read it to the end, but still cannot recommend it.

Not Remembered, Never Forgotten

2009-06-25T10:00:00.004+01:00

"On a compelling journey searching for his family of origin, Bob Hafetz explores the emotional ride that adoptees take while searching for their birth families. His ability to express his feelings make this profound book a primer for everyone who wants to understand underlying issues for adoptees. A beautiful book that you will not want to put down."

Not Remembered Never Forgotten is in desperate need of a stringent line-edit. The text is far too often vague, confusing or reliant on opinion or assumption rather than research or hard fact; a couple of sentences are so poorly-written they are nonsensical; and in one particular case it's stated that people only adopt because they can't have biological children, which simply isn't the case. A strong edit would resolve all of these problems and produce a tighter, more coherent book with greatly-improved pacing and flow.

Then there are the careless errors: there is a punctuation error in the subtitle; a spelling mistake in the quote which is used to introduce the book; and several typos which really should have been corrected before this book was published. It's a shame because despite all of the problems I've listed this is a reasonably well-written book which isn't nearly as bad as many of the others I've reviewed here. I read as far as the tenth page, and I was disappointed not to have to read further.

The Outsider's Guide To Orthodox Judaism

2009-06-18T10:00:00.002+01:00

The Outsider's guide To Orthodox Judaism

"The Outsider's Guide gave me the information and insight I needed to better understand my Orthodox Jewish colleagues."

"This book is the perfect gift for any non-Orthodox friend or coworker. It'll help clear up many misconceptions about Orthodox practice and beliefs."

"Clear, concise, informative, and easy to read."

"After reading The Outsider's Guide, I don't feel like such an outsider any more!"

What we have here is a book which is just right for self-publication: it occupies a nice little niche in the market which its author, Rabbi Arnie Singer, is perfectly placed to exploit.

It is not without its problems: the punctuation is somewhat erratic; there are several inconsistencies in formatting and style which are typical of self-published books; and I frequently found myself frustrated by the brevity of the text because despite this book's rather dry title, it's a good read. It provides a lot of information in a very small space and while the depth and detail that I'd have preferred is lacking, I can understand why the author chose this route—he was writing a handbook, not a history. I read twenty-five pages out of one hundred and fifteen to find my fifteen problems but I will be reading more and would suggest that you do too: this is a very informative, useful little book for anyone to have on their shelves.

al-Qaeda Strikes Again

2009-06-11T10:00:00.004+01:00

Bill Binkley:

Has taken his first excursion into fiction with this fast-paced and exciting book about international terrorists.

al-Qaeda Strikes Again

The inexplicable suicide of a female passenger at JFK International Airport and a secret list discovered by authorities in Pakistan set the stage for a diabolical and deadly a-Qaeda plot involving simultaneous and catastrophic acts of terrorism across the United States. In a race against time, the only question is whether Terrorism Task Force Leader, Wayne Kirby, and his Rambo-like girlfriend, Rennie Jordan, will live long enough to unravel the details, find the terrorists and put a stop to their deadly jihad.

A few months after OJ Simpson's murder trial a flood of novels about celebrities who had got away with something appeared on editors’ desks. The ones I saw offered nothing new and were, on the whole, barely-disguised retellings of OJ's tale.

A similar influx of derivative works arrived after 9/11, only this time they had a far more sinister edge. Stories in which the bad guys were bad guys simply because they were Muslims, or Foreign, littered the slush-piles. Most paid little attention to developing a believable plot or creating compelling characters: simply showing (or more usually, telling) that a character was somehow Other was considered enough to establish him or her as a potential terrorist. It is a deeply racist approach, and one which the author of al-Qaeda Strikes Again relies upon to tell his story.

The book begins with a woman flying into America and dying soon after she arrives at the airport. Right from the start she is suspected of being a terrorist despite there being no evidence of that apart from her name: Safia Makhdoom.

Luckily, this story is told so very badly that I didn't have to read much of it is to find my fifteen errors. The book contains a fair scattering of punctuation problems (hyphens are commonly used when dashes should appear; comma-splices abound), a couple of spelling mistakes, and numerous nameless characters which are indistinguishable from one another. The one exception is an "officer" (of what, I'm not quite sure) who is distinguished from his colleagues by the "epaulets" [sic] he wears. Whole weeks are lost in time-slips; characters disappear on trips which should be mysterious, considering how little reason or excuse is given for them: instead they are simply dull absences of dull characters in a book which you'd be better off avoiding.

I read five pages of this one, and suggest that you don't even consider trying it.

Politics In Compassion: Jack Schauer

2009-06-04T10:00:00.001+01:00

Politics In Compassion Is A Rare Commodity

This study of political compassion as viewed within American political history, includes such political leaders and individuals as Franklin Roosevelt, Lyndon Johnson, Robert Kennedy and Jane Addams, among others. What does a sense of political compassion imply in terms of it being utilised for the common good as well as how it is translated into effective public policies?

Politics In Compassion: The Future Of American Politics wins the prize for the most confusing book I've read for this blog. It's full of jargon, and the unnecessarily over-complexity of the sentence structure means that it shows a horrible lack of clarity. Take, for example, this:

"… Or an individual in identifying with the pain of another human being(s) is made to suffer as well, so that he or she in identifying with the suffering of the hurting individual, that is forming a common bond, hopes to alleviate that suffering as well, an altruistic kind of compassion. However, in order for an individual to display true human compassion, they should not only do in order to feel good about themselves, or as a way of broadcasting the fact that they indeed are a good and altruistic person."

It's jumbled (I suspect that even the title is jumbled and should actually be Compassion In Politics, which would make far more sense), lacking in logic, and incredibly poorly-written: consequently, I didn't even make it to the end of the prologue. I read two pages out of one hundred and eleven, and I strongly suggest that this writer puts a lot of effort into making his work more accessible before he even considers writing anything else.

Refined In The Furnace Of Affliction: John McCulloch

2009-05-28T10:00:00.000+01:00

UNFORESEEN TRAGEDIES LEADS TO A MORE MEANINGFUL LIFE

John McCulloch's oldest son received a head injury at birth, re-sulting in blindness. A second injury at age 28, resulted in his being confined to a nursing home for life. This book is about how these afflictions and others led one family to a positive result.

Refined in the Furnace of Affliction is John McCulloch's account of both his own life and the life of his son John, who received a head injury at birth and was subsequently disabled. There's an insistent strand of Christianity and prayer in this book, and a strong focus on the need for family life, and it's obvious that McCulloch is passionate and devoted to all of these things. Sadly, he isn't a good writer and that lack of expertise means that this book is a flat, dull read.

Most of the pages reminded me of the journals I used to keep as a child: "I got up and then I had my breakfast and then I brushed my teeth and went to school". It's all tell and no show and it's very disorganised, too: in the middle of what should be a heartbreaking tale of the birth of his disabled son, McCulloch abruptly breaks into an account of how his wife got a good deal on a car.

This is a very badly-written book which I wish I could have reviewed more favourably. I read only eleven of its one hundred and fourteen pages.

Carbon Copy Alpha Man: Gary Turcotte

2009-05-21T10:00:00.002+01:00

The conspiracy of the decade takes a backseat to the mysteries of the Millennium.

A top secret agent comes off the assignment of his lifetime. He is having his face reconstructed for his next mission. Without his consent, he is forced to extract all high tech secrets hidden in the mind of a captured prisoner. Through technology the prisoner's mind is directly wired into Derek's mind. The prisoner is from the Roswell crash. Derek's mind is instantly filled with everything the alien knows. Derek decides to run, and publish his secrets. I wrote this for Derek, wherever he is.

Poor old Gary Turcotte: he's the only writer so far to send me two of his books to review, and I think they're both just awful.

Carbon Copy: Alpha Man fails for the same reasons that his other book did: poor writing. The text is dull. Turcotte uses lots of short sentences, which leads to a choppy, disjointed style. He tells everything, shows little, but still manages to confuse which isn't surprising considering how little he seems to know about the subjects he discusses: the surgeries he describes (both medical and cosmetic) are not believable; he seems to consider hypnosis sinister and irresistible, while little more than a stage act; he frequently contradicts himself; he misuses words; and his cover-art is adolescent at best.

I read just six of this book's 160 printed pages, and that was at least five too many.

The Bomb That Followed Me Home (Rumpleville Chronicles): Cevin Soling and Steve Kille

2009-05-14T10:00:00.001+01:00

We've all heard of stray cats following kids home or a lost puppy yelping by a kitchen door for food, but did you know that even a wayward little bomb needs love and attention to?

When a bomb, looking for a friend, follows a young boy home, trouble breaks out in a suburban household that is just trying to keep peace with the angry neighbors next door.

I make it quite clear that I don't review picture books so by sending me a picture book to review, the authors of The Bomb That Followed Me Home: A Fairly Twisted Fairy Tale already have a strike against them.

Because this is a picture book it has relatively little text and I'll admit, I consequently reached the end before I'd found my fifteen errors: so as I do follow the rules here, I shall now review the book even though it shouldn't have been submitted to me in the first place.

According to the the press release which was included with this book, the author and illustrator responsible for this book are being deliberately provocative in an attempt to make their readers think about social issues: I wish they'd spent a little more time working on their story, and a little less time thinking about how clever they could be, because it just doesn't work.

In the book, a bomb follows a little boy home; the next-door neighbour shouts at the boy when he takes a short cut through her garden; and as his parents don't like the neighbour either, they end up giving the bomb to her. You can guess the ending. And if you want to be helpful you could also try to guess the social commentary contained within the story because all I can see here is a book with an ugly cover and a retro-in-all-the-wrong-ways design; an unengaging text with a few clumsy attempts at humour and characterisation, and a glib, self-congratulatory tone which alienated me right from the start.

Secrets Unveiled: Shesena Pledger

2009-05-07T10:00:00.001+01:00

The Harris Family, America's most notorious fiction crime family of her time, is thirsting for one thing: blood. Faced with their most fierce rival to date, the Harris' will stop at nothing to rest assured that their nemesis is at least six feet below anyone else's reach. And with their biggest opponent finally out of the way, the Harris' can taste the sweet flavour of pure vengeance on the tip of their tongues...and they’re salivating for their full meal.

Nick Miller can't wait to get off of work so he can escape the madness surrounding him. From constant memories of his suppressed past to continuous news coverage of ‘Cleopatra's’ death, Nick is aching for relief of such a mentally draining day. So much so, that he finds this comfort in the wrong hands. Will this chance encounter open a door that leads to the secrets behind Nick's past? Or will his lapse of judgement cost him his last breath?

As Nick's world collides with that of the blood thirsty Harris Family, he comes face to face with the one thing that terrifies him more than the thought of dying: the truth about his life.

Secrets Unveiled is written in a very melodramatic style. The author's reliance on single-line paragraphs and broad hints of bad things to come results in a choppy read and a confusing, overwritten text which is adolescent and angsty rather than intellectual or analytical. I read just three pages out of what looks like a very dreary 319 in order to find my quota of fifteen errors.

Congratulations To Rosalie Warren!

2009-04-30T10:00:00.001+01:00

I was more than a little pleased when Rosalie Warren, the author of Charity's Child, emailed me to thank me for the review I’d written here about her book. It was clear that she had thought about my comments, understood them, and had gone on to apply them to the rest of her book. I had no doubt that her writing would improve as a result of her positive attitude and I wasn't surprised when I subsequently learned that she has a novel called Low Tide, Lunan Bay being published today by a good mainstream publisher, Robert Hale. I shall buy myself a copy with a great big smile on my face. The best of luck with Low Tide, Rosalie: and thanks for being such a good sport.

Collision of Angels: Michael Carver

2009-04-23T10:00:00.001+01:00

When Tony Campbell accepts his father-in-law's invitation to chat, he braces himself for yet another of Silas Jackson's ambitious business schemes. But even in his wildest imagination, Tony couldn't have prepared himself for what Silas proposes this time: a run for the United States presidency. In the wake of recent controversial elections, Silas and his colleagues fear America is being run by the few and has turned its back on God. Their remedy: attempt to put a man of faith into the White House. This crusade proves to be the ultimate challenge however, and Tony finds himself facing his greatest test of faith ever. What appears to be a battle between church and state in the human realm is gradually revealed to have far higher stakes --- with ramifications that echo throughout eternity. People on both sides of the aisle will recognise intriguing arguments in this novel and will doubtlessly be waiting for Collision of Angels to continue.

Collision of Angels has it all—if you're looking for the mistakes that new writers make.

I found clichés (including several in the back cover copy), confusing constructions, and point-of-view switches so frequent and so swift that at times I found it impossible to work out which character's head I was meant to be in, even with repeated re-readings. Then there was the repeated use of exposition; and the chapter which begins with the words "six months later" then on the following page abruptly switches to a story which happened "nearly twenty years ago". While it's fine to time-slip on occasion, it has to be done a little more carefully than that.

Add to all of that character who sometimes has a severe stammer, but who can sometimes speak more fluently than I can, and it's no wonder that I read just six of the 428 pages that this overlong book contains.

"We'll Always Be Pals": Tom McManus

2009-04-16T10:00:00.000+01:00

"We'll Always Be Pals" are the last words my father said to me before he died. The youngest of his six children, he taught me everything there is to know about how to be a man in this world. He should know, after the life he lived. Born in 1920, Gene McManus witnessed some of the most historic events in our country's history. A product of the Great Depression, he was a football star, a boxer, and a B-24 Liberator pilot and POW during World War II.

My story is a small one. Out of football for two full seasons after a glorified college career, I had left my football dreams behind me until I got a call out of the clear blue sky. The man who taught me how to play the game was all the inspiration I ever needed to realise a life long held dream.

"We'll Always Be Pals" is ultimately the story of a father and son who were fifty years apart in age yet ended up best of friends.

"We'll Always Be Pals": The Last Words of a Dying Father and a True Hero! is part memoir, part biography, as Tom McManus tells both his life story and his father's. It's a potentially touching story—McManus’s brief career in pro-football was hampered by injury, and his father was a prisoner of war—but I'm afraid that it didn't engage me. The writing is clunky and pedestrian, I found several sentences which didn't quite make sense, there were a few oddly-capitalised words and a whole rash of extraneous commas. I read just eleven pages of text out of a total of 281 pages in order to find my fifteen errors, and wish that this story had been more strongly told.

Memoirs Of A Fortune Teller: Gary Turcotte

2009-04-09T10:00:00.001+01:00

SOMETIMES YOU'RE BETTER OFF NOT KNOWING YOUR FUTURE

Mary Ann was a traveling fortune teller. She knew everyone's future, but her own. She left this journal with many disturbing readings.

This novel has a central character who has the potential to be very interesting: she's a fortune-teller who can see a person's future when she touches their hands.

Sadly that character wasn't used to great advantage in the few pages that I managed to read. The writing was very wooden, confused and abrupt: while I do like a spare style I also like a book to read as though it's complete, and this one read as though it was no more than an extended synopsis for a larger piece—it's very staccato and bare. And from what I could tell by skimming through it (the back cover copy is quoted in full above, and as you can see it provided me with very little information) this book has very little in the way of plot: it appears to be nothing more than a collection of anecdotes which centre around this particular fortune-teller.

This was a very disappointing book, and I only read eight pages of its text before I'd found my full quota of problems with it.

Ralphina, the Roly-Poly: Claudia Chandler

2009-04-02T10:00:00.000+01:00

Ralphina, the roly-poly is sad because she gets lonely in her garden and wants a friend to play with. But she is so small that nobody seems to notice her. With her mommy's encouragement, Ralphina digs up a clever solution to her loneliness and in the process learns that she has a lot to offer in friendship. (Did you notice the little play on words there? Get it . . . digs . . . garden? Ha!). Discover how friendship can make your world blossom in all the colors of the rainbow, and also learn stuff that I am willing to venture you don't know about these adorable little garden dwellers.

I do not want to be sent picture books. I make it clear that I don't review them, so by sending me Ralphina, the Roly-Poly to review the author already has a strike against her. Nevertheless, here it is in my hands, so I will offer my opinion.

While the press release which accompanied this book states that it was "written to appeal to preschoolers and early readers", I have not yet found a child in that age-group which finds it attractive, despite taking the book to an infant school and showing it around.

Nothing in this book is quite good enough: there are a few errors in punctuation on the back cover copy and inside this book; the illustrations are fuzzy, and often unattractive; and Ralphina is a particularly unappealing heroine.

The story is predictable and unengaging, and the list of roly-poly-related facts at the end of the book was impossible for either of my sons to read: my eight-year-old, who is dyslexic, was defeated by the fancy fonts which were used while my 13-year-old, who is colour-blind, found that the multicoloured background overwhelmed the words that were printed on it. And it retails at a stonking $24.95, far more than mainstream books of this type: who is going to pay so much for a book of such inferior content?

This is another self-published book to be avoided, I'm afraid.

Ghost Posts

2009-03-27T13:45:00.003Z

Apologies for the few ghost-posts which Google Reader insists have been published but which have not actually appeared on the blog: I've been struggling to get things scheduled properly again. I think I've got it sorted out now, and in future reviews should appear every Thursday morning at 10 am, UK time.

Straight From The Horse's Heart: R T Fitch

2009-03-24T17:19:00.001Z

Horses can't talk, but they can speak if you listen. And in Straight from the Horse’s Heart: A Spiritual Ride through Love, Loss, and Hope, R. T. Fitch translates what he has learned while listening to horses. In fact, the author is not so much a horse whisperer as he is a horse listener. From the horse’s mouth to our ears, he beautifully captures the essence of the language of horses and the special relationship between horse and human. As dramatic as it is inspiring, his insights on life, love, and survival are echoes of the windswept mane and beating hooves of a wild mare and the calm stillness of a foal. Together these melodic, often poetic stories find blessings in the eye of the storm and celebrate the quietude of reflection and inner peace.

When I started to read this book I expected to dislike it: I don't do well with sentimentality, nor with those "tragic-about-brave" tabloid-fodder stories that so often form around animals and those who rescue them.

Instead, I found a book which is, at its start at least, heart-warming and full of a very particular charm. It is simply written and very accessible: but the text needs a stiff edit as it's let down by a good few careless mistakes in punctuation and structure which could easily have been addressed, which prevented me from reading past page twenty-five.

What worries me more, though, is the direction that the book eventually takes. It is episodic, built from thirty-five short standalone pieces: but while the early chapters discuss the author's work with horses with great simplicity and charm the later pieces are rather more surreal, and take the form of conversations with horses in turmoil, several of which are written from the horse's points of view. I did not find these pieces convincing or credible: and they let down the rest of the writing, I'm afraid.

I suspect that the author would have had a good chance of finding a mainstream publisher if he had only written a different book: despite the errors that I spotted he writes well, seems to have a natural sense of pacing, and I'll bet he has plenty of stories to tell. I’d strongly advise him to consider writing a book which describes all the various horses he had helped over the years, and discusses the many challenges that each horse presented, and trying for a mainstream deal next time.

Charity's Child: Rosalie Warren

2009-02-19T10:00:00.000Z

Dark Deed or Virgin Birth?

Who is the father of Charity's Child? 16-year-old Charity Baker has her own crazy ideas but even her loyal friend Joanne find them hard to believe.

Attractive enthusiast Charity joins the Crabapple Christian Fellowship and a number of the ‘Crabbies’, including Alan the assistant pastor, fall for her charms. When Charity shocks everyone by revealing that she is pregnant, Alan is the prime suspect.

As the story reaches its disturbing climax, darkness is revealed in unexpected places and we learn with Joanne that many things in Charity's life are not as they seem.

This powerful tale of teenage sexuality, religious fanaticism, self-harm and other highly topical issues explores the struggles of two young women striving to break free of cultural expectations and oppression.

I really wanted this particular book to do well: from email discussions with its author I knew it had an interesting central premise; and that she is a fluent, entertaining writer.

This is almost a good book, but it’s spoiled by duplications and lapses in logic. In the first three pages, when Charity is introduced, there are several passages which tell us how lovely she is: by the third one, I was irritated by the repetition, and consequently by her. And if the church around which the story centres only has a congregation of seven or eight people, how can it afford both a pastor and an assistant pastor, both with families, neither of whom seem to have any other means of support?

These problems, and the odd punctuation errors (an unnecessary question-mark on page two; a misused comma on page seven) meant that I had reached my quota of mistakes by page nineteen; but the potential of the story kept me reading a lot further.

I'd really like to see this book perked up: I wasn't keen on the illustration used on the front cover, which is dark and muddy-looking; the back cover copy really needs to be re-written as it is full of cliché and does little to spark my interest. As for the text, it needs a strong line-edit and then it might just stand a good chance of commercial publication.

Number of pages of the main narrative read: nineteen

Life Cycles: Neil Killion

2009-02-12T10:00:00.002Z

LIFE CYCLES is a ground-breaking new theory on what life is all about. It is both controversial and evidence-based and states that we live our lives in symbolically repeatable twelve year cycles. There are two important years and this is where we see fate take a hand in unusual ways.

Designed to entertain and inform; details from the public record are used to dissect the lives of world leaders, showbiz personalities, criminals and ordinary citizens. You will learn about your life's symbolic meaning and be introduced to a whole range of new terms and icons.

You won't read anything quite as original and intriguing and you will never look at your life the same way again.

This book has an eye-catching cover which I liked, despite the lack of information it gave me about its genre; and its central premise—that the same twelve-year cycle resonates through all our lives—is interesting enough.

However, the book is let down by poor writing, confused and sloppy logic, the author's preference for rhetoric over substance, and the lack of any real information in the text, which is all based on rumour, conjecture, supposition and hype. I counted six clichés in the back cover copy alone. The book lacks any real substance and I didn't even finish the prologue before finding my full quota of fifteen errors in this one.

Number of pages read: three

Girl Without A Country

2009-02-05T10:00:00.002Z

A rare intimate account of a resourceful girl's adventures as she sets out on her own in a quest for knowledge and freedom. It is an inspiring story of hardship, courage, and hope, told with wit and charm. Born stateless in a village in Germany, without any citizenship, the girl without a country has to satisfy the demands of the law for non-citizens. She seeks a better life by immigrating to Australia, but not before falling in love with an American soldier. Their touching love story develops across the oceans. Trying to obtain a visa to visit her love in America, she is forced to return to Germany to have her passport for foreigners extended. The irony is that she has to be in Germany first before she can receive permission to return to Germany. A girl without a country has no right to travel. She manages the impossible by taking, without proper documentation and without resources, a remarkable journey from Australia to Germany, travelling through Japan, Hong Kong, Bangkok, India, and Turkey. The reader is held in suspense as, against all odds, she finally succeeds in her quest. Readers may more deeply appreciate their own citizenship after reading this book.

While I don't doubt that the author has had a more-than-usually difficult life, I'm afraid that this book did nothing to help me sympathise with her.

Judging from the back cover copy, it’s unlikely that English is her first language and so it's possible that much of the clumsiness in the text is due to an over-literal translation from German to English: but as you know, I judge books here against the standards of mainstream, commercial publishing and so won’t accept any such excuses.

There were many careless errors: on page six I found both "proof reading" and "proofreading" in the same paragraph; and then on page nine there was this sentence: "We were nine children in our family, and I was the youngest of the five girls, having three younger brothers." I realise it's possible that the author had an older brother too, or that maths isn’t one of her strong points: but errors like this are not going to endear this story to anyone.

The combination of clumsy phrasing, the heavy use of cliché, and the abundance of careless errors took me to the third page of the main narrative—page nine in the book.

Number of pages read: four.

The Proviso: Moriah Jovan

2009-02-03T10:00:00.004Z

Religion Money Politics Sex

Knox Hilliard's uncle killed his father to marry his mother and gain control of the family's Fortune 100 company. Knox is set to inherit the company on his 40th birthday, provided he has a wife and heir, but he never really wanted it in the first place.

Now, after his bride is murdered on their wedding day and his backup bride poses such a threat to his uncle that he's tried to kill her—twice—Knox refuses to fulfill The Proviso at all. Then he meets a woman he may not be able to resist long enough to keep her safe.

His cousin, notorious and eccentric financier Sebastian Taight, would have raided the company long ago to destroy the uncle he despises. For Knox's sake, he did nothing—until their cousin Giselle barely escapes assassination. The gloves come off, but Sebastian may have jumped in too deep, as the SEC steps in, then Congress threatens to get involved.

Giselle Cox struggles under the weight of having exposed the affair that set her uncle's plot in motion—twenty years ago. As Knox's childhood sweetheart, she is also the most convenient way for Knox to inherit. Their uncle has twice tried to eliminate her, leaving her bankrupt and hoping to get through Knox's 40th birthday alive.

None of them want the company, but two people have been murdered for it and Giselle is under constant threat because of it. What they want now is justice, but as embroiled as they are in their war, the last thing they expect to find on the battlefield is love.

The big problem with this book wasn't with errors in punctuation (although there are several, including a comma splice in the acknowledgements), but with a confusing narrative which is compounded by frequent errors in sentence construction. There are several instances where it isn't clear who is carrying out the actions described; and there is a lot of repetition. On page three we're told that valuables are cheap, which seems illogical; on that same page we're told that the “collected gasp was palpable”, and on page eleven the outrage is described as palpable too.

This book runs to a staggering 696 printed pages, then the numbering begins again at one and goes up to twelve. I assume these twelve pages are from the sequel but it's not made clear and it's immaterial, as I'd found my fifteen errors before I'd read to the end of page nine.

Number of pages read: nine

Sorry For The Delay....

2009-02-02T11:40:00.005Z

Due to a few sign-in problems I've been unable to add to this blog for some time. I'm happy to say that those problems now seem to be resolved. New reviews should appear from tomorrow.

Essays On Life (Volume I): Nicolette Bethel

2008-11-18T17:11:00.004Z

In May 2003, Nicolette Bethel was approached by the then editor of the Nassau Guardian, Larry Smith, to write a series of articles for the newspaper. Bethel chose to write a series of observations about Bahamian life, drawing on her training as an anthropologist. Essays on Life is still published in the Nassau Guardian on a weekly basis, examining topics as diverse as orality, inequality, the arts, government, and culture.

When I first received this book for review, my heart sank. These essays on Bahamina life were first published in the Nassau Guardian and not only is this book not a genre I’d usually consider, but it’s a genre I felt little connection with. I know little about the Bahamas; I’ve never visited the country; and I prefer fiction to non-fiction, so I assumed that I’d find this book hard work. I was completely wrong.

The essays provide a fascinating insight into Bahamian life and culture. Their origin is sometimes a little obvious: they’re opinion-pieces, and so sometimes they are a little overstated for collection in book form. But that didn’t detract from their charm: it just changed the way that I read the book. Instead of reading it in a couple of long sittings I read them as they were originally intended to be read, just one essay at a time, and found myself looking forward to each new episode.

If I have any criticism at all, it’s for the way the limitations of column-writing have restricted Nicolette Bethel’s natural style. I’d really like to see her extend her scope a little by writing a few longer pieces which rely less on rhetorical sweep, and more on the subtle character observations that she does so well.

As for the errors: well. These essays were properly edited for publication, and it shows. I have a small issue with the formatting: there’s an extra line of white space between the paragraphs which isn’t usual, and which I don’t like—but it’s used consistently, and I won’t condemn this book on what boils down to a matter of taste. There’s an extra space before a hyphen on page 18, which is a little careless: but it’s the only mistake I found, and it didn’t lessen the appeal of this charming collection one bit. There might have been more errors but I can’t be sure: I enjoyed the book so much that my editor-mode switched off, and I repeatedly found myself absorbed by her apparently simple narrative style.

Exposition

2008-11-09T10:36:00.000Z

When a writer interrupts her main narrative to fill the reader in on a pertinent detail or two about the back story or a character’s history, and then resumes the main narrative, that interruption is exposition. It’s sometimes referred to as an information dump or info-dump, as that’s exactly what it is: a dump of information into an otherwise-continual text. It’s that Scooby-Doo moment that you see in so many TV shows and films where the bad guy pauses once he’s got his hands on the good guy in order to explain exactly why he’s trying to destroy mankind, when you know all the time that a real bad guy would just shut up and shoot.

I’m going to tell you a story here about how I nearly throttled one of my cats just now because of the terrible thing that she just did, but first you have to know that this particular cat came from a sanctuary. She’d been rescued from a neglectful owner and was hit by a car and now has one leg shorter than the others, but she’s gorgeous and I adore her even though she loves my husband and despises me.

And now who remembers or even cares that I was about to throttle her?*

All that extraneous stuff about my cat—the sanctuary, the car accident, her funny short leg and her over-close relationship with my husband—is all exposition. By revealing things in this way you make your readers lose focus on the story and when that happens too often or too harshly, they’re going to lose interest too.

Info-dumps can often just be deleted without leaving a significant hole in the text: it’s amazing how much information can be imparted through implication. If you really need to include the information then you have to incorporate it more smoothly into the text, to avoid those sudden dislocations as you switch your readers’ attention into and out of the info-dumps. This usually means that you’ll have to relocate the information to another more natural place in the text, and you’ll have to rewrite it so that the information it contains is incorporated more tightly into the characterisation, setting or plot. Which might mean that you need to add a scene, or explore an existing scene more deeply than you have.

*For those of you who are still interested, it was because she jumped up on the keyboard and managed to delete half of the first draft of this post. Bless her little furry feet. She’d better not do it again.

Tiberius Steele And The Golden Leopard: Adam Britten

2008-11-02T14:11:00.008Z

The Golden Leopard...the relic of an ancient religion with the power to decide the fate of a nation. In a fight against gods and men, Steele must confront age-old superstition and long-forgotten horrors to protect an innocent girl. But he can do neither until he overcomes the demons of his past..."

I reached page fourteen before finding my fifteenth error: but it's worth noting that the main text doesn't start until page five, so it's fairer to say that I read nine pages of text before stopping. I found a few cases of obvious exposition, many cliches, some confusing sentence constructions and a few very odd layout choices, one of which has placed the copyright page after the book's prologue.

The text was, however, pretty clean: I found no spelling errors and although there were many punctuation errors they were consistent (hyphens are routinely used in place of dashes, for example), which implies a misunderstanding of the rules on the writer's part, rather than a purely slapdash approach.

The Rock Star's Homecoming: Linda Gould

2008-11-02T13:56:00.007Z

"Nestled in the Appalachian foothills, Glendary College is the epitome of a small-town college. Calm and studious on the surface, the mixture of jocks, religious fanatics, and hippies creates a powder keg just waiting to explode. The igniting spark comes in teh form of the Sunburst, a homegrown rock-and-roll band whose members go out of their way to break campus rules. Finally, at a late-night concert, they go too far, and the band members are expelled."

I nearly reached the end of page seven before finding my fifteen errors. Eleven of those errors were down to the writer's repeated use of exposition to reveal backstory or characterisation, which drastically interrupted the flow of the main story and which could easily have been dealt with in a less intrusive way.

I've flicked through the rest of the book and while there's less exposition as the story progresses, it does continue to intrude.

My Splendid Concubine: Lloyd Lofthouse

2008-11-02T13:09:00.009Z

"No Westerner has ever achieved Robert Hart's status and level of power in China. Driven by a passion for his adopted country, Hart became the "godfather of China's modernism," inspector general of China's Customs Services, and the builder of China's railroads, postal and telegraph systems, and schools. But his first real love is Ayaou, a young concubine."

By the time I reached the top of page seven I'd found my fifteen errors, most of which were down to problems with punctuation. There were also a few errors of context, and a few issues which are typical of the inexperienced writer.

I really wanted this book to do better: it tells a mostly-true story which has the potential to be fascinating. A little more writing experience, a rewrite and a stringent edit might fix the problems that I found but as it stands, it doesn't measure up to commercial standards.

Have You Emailed Me Today?

2008-10-02T18:35:00.002+01:00

I've received three emails today which have this blog title in the subject-line, and each one has been flagged as suspicious by my anti-virus. None of them were from people I know.

If you have tried to contact me by email today then I'd be grateful if you'd have another try, and this time make sure that there's text in your message, you don't include any attachments, and you make sure that your computer is virus-free. You could also post here, just to let me know to expect something.

Thanks.

Am I Still Here?

2008-10-02T17:05:00.002+01:00

Yesterday I heard back from the Post Office about the P O Box number that I've applied for to use for this blog.

They wrote to tell me that my address isn't listed on their database and so, according to them, my house doesn't really exist. The irony of their writing to tell me this seemed to escape them.

I have now spoken with my local Council which has confirmed that my house really is where I thought it was. The Council has promised to tell the Post Office. And after that, I should get my P O Box number.

Until then, keep your fingers crossed.

An Update

2008-09-09T13:53:00.003+01:00

I'm still here, and so is my blog. The Post Office, however, seems to have gone missing. Or at least, the application I made to them for a post office box number has.

Until that's sorted out I won't have an address for you to send your books to. I've been promised that it should only take ten days or so for this to all be sorted out, but that's what I was told a fortnight ago--the first time nothing happened.

Sorry for the delay. I'll let you know when I'm finally in posession of that mailing address. I hope it's soon.

Dashes And Ellipses

2008-08-18T16:12:00.004+01:00

Somewhere in one of my comments, Sally has asked me for some more information about dashes and ellipses. Do, therefore, please blame her for the following rather boring post.

It's difficult to give exact rules for the correct usage for either the dash or the ellipsis as much depends on house style: the most important rule to remember is to be consistent. Choose one way and stick to it throughout your work. Use a "find and replace" to locate all examples once you've finished, just to ensure your consistency. And once you've done that don't get into a lather about them, as so much depends on the editor or publisher you're working with.

For the ellipsis, the usual convention is that it has a space after, but not before, or between each individual dot; and that if one ends a sentence, then you add a full stop so you get four dots in a row, and that full stop will naturally necessitate that a capital letter follows. So we use ellipses like this in the middle of a sentence... and like this at the end.... Ellipses indicate a trailing off (for example, in speech), rather than an interruption or abrupt halt, for which you use a dash.

Some houses prefer no spaces at all on either side of their ellipses and some (although happily, these are in the minority as I think it looks awful) prefer a space either side. I'm not sure which one I think is worse.

Dashes are more tricky. House style dictates, as usual. First rule is to remember that they are NOT interchangeable with hyphens, and that you need to show the difference between dashes and hyphens, usually by using two hyphens without a space between them to indicate a dash.

Whether or not you use a space either side of your dashes, like this:

text -- text

or don't, like this:

text--text

is up to you and the dictates of your style guide. I usually default to the latter, with no spaces, as it's what is preferred by the Chicago manual, which is what most American publishers default to when they're unsure.

Then you have to consider em- and en-dashes: the en and em refers to how much room they should take up on the line. The choice here is, once again, mostly a matter of house style although years ago there were specific situations when each one was used. If I'm in any doubt I usually default to the em-dash throughout rather than the en, as it's easier to differentiate from hyphens and so leads to a clearer text.

Finally, I'd ask everyone to use as few dashes and ellipses as possible as otherwise your text is going to look like the punctuation-spider has been sick all over it. Not a pretty thing, and very distracting to the reader.

There. I just hope Sally is grateful. After all--she asked.

What Counts As An Error?

2008-08-16T08:48:00.003+01:00

I've been asked just what constitutes an error and, by implication, what's going to stop me reading any further in a book.

Obvious errors are those of spelling and punctuation. Now, different people have different opinions on punctuation usage (how to punctuate ellipses is particularly fraught...), and different countries have different spellings: American "color" vs. British "colour" is an obvious example.

Grammar introduces a whole new area of confusion: while there are times when what's right and wrong are glaringly obvious, other things are more difficult to determine: there's an argument to say that split infinitives, for example, are perfectly allowable, despite the common perception that they are always wrong.

Finally, there's the author's voice to take into account. Sometimes what's correct isn't lyrical, readable, or interesting. Editors aim to make every book that passes through their hands as readable and fascinating as they can possibly be: so if by "correcting" the text an editor renders it impenetrable, then they're not doing the job properly.

All that waffle boils down to the answer that in many cases, there is not one right or wrong way.

HOWEVER (and you knew that was coming, right?) there must be consistency throughout a book or else the reader feels uncomfortable, and is alienated--which is exactly what we don't want to happen. So if rules are repeatedly broken in different ways, then yes, that's an error. Similarly, spelling mistakes are definable errors; and errors of punctuation are pretty easy to pick up, too.

To simplify things, each publishing house and imprint will have its own particular house style which sets out the rules that they expect all their books to follow.

I've edited books for both the UK market and the American market, and for perhaps twelve different imprints and publishing houses, which means that I've worked with a wide range of house styles, spelling rules, and authors. So I can be pretty flexible about which particular set of rules to follow. I'm looser about some of the grammar rules than others; I'm more pedantic about punctuation (I could go on at length about the correct use of the dash, but I won't here for risk of boring everyone even more than I have already).

So: I'll count as errors anything that's glaring; any inconsistencies of use; and any clear violations of grammar rules which can't be accounted for by the voice of the writer. And I'll be ruthless as far as spellings, punctuations, and grammar constructs go, while making allowances for regional variations and personal preferences. I will, however, be forgiving if some of the more complex rules are broken: most people just don't know how to punctuate ellipses, after all. I just wish they did.

Any questions?

What I Will And Won't Do, And What I Expect From You

2008-08-12T10:32:00.000+01:00

I will read every book submitted to me so long as it's good enough (as detailed in my previous posts).

I will not lower my standards because readers consider them unfair: for books to measure up here, and in the commercial world, everything about them has to be good. That includes details like spelling.

I will not enter into any discussion about whether I'm right or wrong. We're trying to find the best self-published books, not the ones with the most vociferous authors.

I will not make fun of the writers whose work I don't finish, nor will I allow commenters to do so. I will not hesitate to delete comments which I consider inappropriate or rude.

While I will not tolerate rudeness of any kind, I will encourage debate. So long as comments remain respectful they can be robust, but never rude.

I'd appreciate it if you could let me know of any other boundaries I should impose here: for example, how many mistakes do you think I should allow before I stop reading? Should some errors be considered more heinous than others? And what should cause an instant stop?

What I'll Read, And What I Won't

2008-08-10T18:15:00.000+01:00

Please don't submit your work if you're under the age of legal consent (18 in the UK). There are legal implications in publishing books when you're too young to sign contracts which I don't want to get entangled by. Apart from that, your work is unlikely to be good enough to impress me, and I don't want to break any young hearts.

Don't submit pornography: I can't be bothered with it, and don't want it in my house. Erotica, however, is welcome.

Books which contain gratuitous violence or overdone sex are unlikely to do well.

Don't submit any overtly religious writing, as I don't believe in gods of any kind and my remarks are likely to offend you.

Don't ask me to consider e-books, no matter how good they are. I like reading real, physical books and don't have an e-reader, and I'm not going to sit at my computer for an extra hour just to read your books.

Apart from that I'll read pretty much anything. Fiction, non-fiction, poetry, memoir; books for adults, books for children, and all ages in between; hardback, softback, illustrated or not. Send it to me, what ever you've got.

How This Is Going To Work

2008-08-09T17:50:00.003+01:00

If you've self-published or vanity-published your book, and you're confident that it's good enough to compete with the books on the bookshop shelves, then send me a copy. Submission details are in the bar on the right.

I'll read it as I would anything from the slush-pile. As I'm reading I'll count the errors that I see, and once I get to fifteen errors then I'll stop reading. I'll include errors of spelling, punctuation and grammar, as well as problems with tense and point-of-view. If I don't spot many errors I'll read it for as long as it holds my attention: once my interest slips (and remember that I am known for reading the back of the milk-carton at breakfast, such is my need for reading matter), I'll persist for another couple of pages.

I'll post the title, author and sundry details of each book that is submitted to me, including the number of pages I got through before putting it aside (I hope the page-counts will end up as a league-table rather than a catalogue of shame).

If I finish your book I'll write a review of it here, and recommend it to my friends. I can't say that it'll lead to fame and fortune for any of the writers that I review: but I hope it will give some encouragement, and a reason to keep writing.

Where Self-Publishing Goes Wrong

2008-08-09T17:18:00.003+01:00

I've worked on many different books over the years and know just how painstaking the editing process is. It can take a professional editor and writer months of working together to get a book good enough to be published, and even then the odd mistake creeps through.

The number of writers who choose to self-publish their books has increased hugely over the last few years. The standard of most of these books is notoriously low: they've not been polished by their writers, they've not been copyedited, they've been published without any competent editorial or design input, or perhaps they just weren't good enough to be published.

And what of the writers? Many are novices to the game. Many have no idea how bad their writing is, or what is involved in writing well enough to be published. Many have been rejected repeatedly by the more traditional publishers, and are not prepared to put in the effort that's needed to achieve traditional publication, or are too impatient to struggle on without the validation that they feel publication brings.

Meanwhile the few people who self-publish books which do have merit find their work buried under the avalanche.

I want to help those few reach a wider readership. I want to review the best self-published books here, and acknowledge the talent that their writers have. And that's what this blog is for.